Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

So.. fucking.. sick..

How is it that I always manage to get sick in fucking May? The same damned thing happened last year, too. I swear to god, I must be programmed to get sick in May and again right at Christmas time. I guess I should be glad I only get sick like twice a year, but at the same time, I am vaguely bitter because Steven is like Typhoid Mary: he doesn't get sick, but he brings things home to me all the time. I have taken so much crap to try and get rid of this sooner.

Thus far, I have taken:

• 1 24 hour Sudafed
  
• 2 dyefree Benedryl
  
• 1 Claritin
  
• 1 12 Hour Drixorel
  
• 1 multivitamin for the zinc
  
• 2 Cranberry pills for a little extra C
  
• 2 Tylenol for the fever I seem to have developed
  
• 1 15mg oxycodone painkiller to dull both my hideous sinus headache and to quiet my pissy knee.
  

I am a walking pharmacy today. And damned if the fever isn't making me itchy too. Ugh, it's not just feeling itchy. I looked at my foot and seem to have hives. I must have touched something that didn't like me. I hate being sick. I am one cranky badger tonight, but a badger with lots of low acid OJ, nonetheless.

Enough about my being sick. I went for my very exciting gyno trip yesterday. Of course, I forgot all about it and had sex less than 24 hours before Ye Olde Pap Smear. Whoops.

The appointment wasn't too bad. She was very quick and very gentle. I voiced my concerns about the menstrual migraines and she was rather surprised that I did not get them when I was off the pill. We went through and ticked off the other methods I couldn't or wouldn't use (patch because of latex adhesive and my super sensitive skin, cervical cap and diaphram because they are latex, both shots because of weight concerns and my needle phobia, and possibly the ring because I guess something in it is similar to latex and could potentially be a problem) and which could be possible (pill and IUD).

She was not totally comfortable with automatically saying ok to the IUD since I have not had kids. However, after I mentioned I was engaged, she said she felt more comfortable with considering it. As for now, though, she is going to perscribe a continuous birth control regime, as well as some extra estrogen pills in case I get massive spotting or want to have a period. Not that I can really envision wanting a period or anything.

She was quite pleased with how timely I take my pill and told me that I am very close to being perfect usage. She also confirmed what I originally thought, which is that I have a fairly small pelvic outlet (and she needed to use the smallest speculum, too, because the others were hitting my pubic bone). She warned me that there would be a good possibility that I would either require a c-section or other medical intervention, should I have kids. I guess I can also give up those fisting dreams.

All in all, she was in and out in less than 10 minutes. I didn't feel any of the swabs or the pap smear thingy. She was really pleasant and very personable, which helped relax me. The only thing I didn't like was that she used a lot of lube. Even after wiping off, I still glopped onto my knickers. I suppose that worked out all right, too, as I convinced Steven to help me ...fix... that problem. He was certainly happy to help me out.

We went to the first exhibition game of the season afterwards. I'm not sure why, but going really depressed the hell out of me. It was also freezing yesterday which made my knee act up really badly. It didn't much help my cold, either. We got there late, missed Oil Can Boyd's pitching, and left in the 8th, with the Rox leading 17-5. I hope this year will be better than last. We've moved our seats, so hopefully that will keep away the drunks and other undesirables, such as obnoxious children who beg for balls, step all over me, and spill things on me. The staff was mildly accomodating and did ferry us to and from the car with their golf cart. It's going to be a while before I can trek all the way from the back of the parking lot to the stadium. Even with that, I still overdid it. I also mentioned to Steven that, until my knee is much better, I don't want to try and bring Elliott with us. I need too much help getting around still that it would make it difficult to try and rein him in and help me at the same time. That or if he fell asleep, it would be impossible. Stupid knee.

I'd like to go to bed, but I'm not really sleepy, only medicine heady, and I also don't want to keep Steven up with my snuffling and nose blowing. Speaking of, one of his (maybe our, she seems pretty cool) friends sent us a survey, he filled it out and sent it back, and wrote what I thought was a really sweet line:

whats the last thing you stole? - Probably Samantha's heart.

It struck me as really sweet and, actually, when I thought about it, quite true. Maybe I'm just wierd.

Now that I've rambled lots, I'm going to check my email one more time and then head off to sleep.

We went to see Phantom of the Opera tonight. I'm really too lazy to do a full out review. In fact, I'm fucking exhausted. What I will say is that this was definitely the best production I've seen out of the 5 or 6 times I've been. The Phantom was everything he should have been: mad at times, full of loving adoration for Christine, bubbling with barely restained sexual tension and lust. In fact, he did an amazing job on Point of No Return when Christine is singing. You could see him trembling and winding his hands in his cloak. Very powerful. The kiss was good, tenative at first, then he clutched her to him in a hug, followed by one more kiss, where he put his hands in her hair. I do wish that her been a bit more sexual...

 I have to say, though, he had one of the most powerful lair scenes. I had tears in my eyes as he kept crying out to her that he loved. It was in such a lamentful, heartbreaking tone.. After she left for the first time, he collasped on the floor sobbing, whispering her name and I Love You. When she came back to return his ring, you could just see the hope well up in him and then, when she left, oh my god, that's when the tears started welling. It was heartbreaking.

Before that, we had a really nice dinner at Chau Chau's. We have a damn load of leftovers, too. I had beef lo mein and Steven has his usual of chicken in black bean sauce. The place was insane, it was so busy. I'm also happy with the leftovers (lunch!)

( And now, the TMI... )


Now I'm going to bed before I burst. I'll see what I can recover more tomorrow.

This made my night.

Actually, lots of things made my night. I'm back on the hormones, so all in my life is good again-- no more headache, no more nausea, only a little leftover bloating.

I found my red vinyl devil dress and the good news is it fits and it fits better than it did two years ago. Well, except across the boobs. I seem to have gained a cup or so since then. That's a damn the hormones moment.

And, because everyone wants to know about my sex life, I got laid and it was great. Thank you, little red vinyl dress. I love when things all fall into line and move smoothly.

And now, I'm going to sleep the sleep of the satiated.

The blanket over the window did not work as well as I had originally hoped. I can see it billowing in the breeze, in fact, right now, as I'm typing. It reached a balmy 7 degrees today. I was practically ready to grab my bathing suit and go for a swim with the goosicles in Dorchester Bay, had it not been nearly completely iced over. I can hear the wind whipping around outside... sounds like cars driving by. It's so cold in here right now, in fact, that I'm not only wearing my sweatpants and one of Steven's work shirts that I need to throw in the hamper (in hopes that I somehow might have one full load to do when I go to the laundromat later this week), but also socks, my Hello Kitty slippers, and my ratty green terry robe. Sigh, I should buy a new one while there's still a sale at Vicky's, but I don't really have the cash.

I'm super tired, for some reason. We slept in this morning, till 10:30, since there was no school. Wimps. -10 is nothing compared to what I had to go to school in while I was in Proctor. I remember having school when it was -44 and the only reason I didn't go was because the car fluids had literally frozen/turned to slush. Tangent over. We went to ye olde UMass both to harass administration (no dice, my app is still with The Committee) and lunch with Donna (more like brunch. Made Steven sick, too greasy for me). The we came back here, watched Shanghai Knights, which is plot-lite, but cute, with lots of neat-o stunts and jiggly, jiggly breasts. Then we ...relaxed... somemore.

I started feeling it while we were introducing the 11th. Commandment (Thou shalt not chew with thy mouth open) at dinner. After the eleven hundreth time of saying this, followed by much pouting (wonder where he gets that from...), attempted cuteness to deflect attention from aforementioned open mouth chewing, followed by cries of needing Mommy and silencing of them with responses of Mommy would not let you chew with your mouth open, either, I started feeling very, very tired. Ultimately, we distracted him by teaching him such good, useful words as "Nasghoul", "Rohan", and "Aragorn".

Tangent: Does anyone find the nasghoul a hell of a lot less frightening with the knowledge that their unholy screams are really just the heehawing of donkeys with a little echo on it?

Tomorrow, I'm going on the hunt to find a funton cover and some material for drapery. It's high time I start making this place look a little more like my home, rather than a prefurnished place. I'm planning on rearranging the furniture next week-end, when I'm able to get things a little cleaner. We're still super cluttered from Christmas. In fact, most of Steven's and my presents are still sitting where they were on Christmas day. Go me. At least the tree is down and the Boy Scouts have been paid to haul its carcass off.

I want to rewire my new art before I go to bed. Must remember.

What else..? I have to spend Sunday in purgatory again. I need to look for a new job, but I haven't had much energy lately. Even my sex drive has taken a hit: I've actually not wanted it every day! I think I have a little bit of a bug, though, coupling the deadly exhaustion with a bit of an upset stomach and sore throat. I'm sure I'll recover completely, though.

I need more sudafed and sleep. Tomorrow should be action packed and exciting.

Happy New Year! My resolution is to have more sex this year. So far, so good.. I've gone about thrice today (not that anyone wants details of my sex life...) It's always good to make resolutions I can actually keep. It's sort of like giving up things for Lent. I always give up smoking or giving up something for Lent for Lent. I'm a lousy Catholic.

Actually, I did start 2004 off with a pop and a bang... literally. I'll let the double entendre infiltrate. We picked up a nice bottle of champagne (excuse me: sparkling white wine, since it was, in actuality, not from France, but Italy.) It's called DeFarveri, for anyone who is interested, and it's remarkably good, considering I normally dislike both white wine and champagne. We popped the cork... well, the cork really popped itself and we've not yet found it... exactly at midnight. How cheesy, right? Toasted, announce resolutions, had a New Year's kiss over obligatory chinese food... I don't need to elaborate over the rest. Ended up watching the History of Sex on the History Channel before conking out.

I think passing out may be a better term. I had far too much to drink last night. Went out for ice cream with Allison and her fiancé Jay. Hung out there until 10ish, then went to see Mum and Bruce for margaritas (1.5 for me and .5 for Steven because he was driving) and incidental chinese food from the scary Orient Express uptown, back to Weymouth for chinese from the Fortune Cookie, then back to here where I consumed all but one glass of champagne (around 650 mL), a spoonful of codiene cough syrup, and two sudafed.

I was not hungover this morning. I was very proud of myself. I even managed to get my ass to work on time. Evil work.

I did manage to be able to sneak out for a break, where I had the bargains of the century at the GAP. I paid $42.97 for $107.50 worth of merchandise. I love after Christmas sales. Anyhow, I got this super mod blue skirt ($19.99), a pair of pants for Steven ($12.99), and a really soft, long sleeved grey shirt ($9.99). I did not find the long sleeved shirts that I was looking for/needed. I tried on a couple of tops at Old Navy, but my breasts are so big that they just looked indecent. This meant that they were really bad, considering I was wearing a thin, white tee shirt the other day that said "Young, Willing, and Eager". Anything wrapped or split necked looks like it's practically open to my navel or half my breasts are hanging out or something. If it's not V-necked, it usually rides up in front so my navel is hanging out. I am not cool with that. Navel = no-no spot.

I digress. I went to Yankee Candle after and bought the last MacIntosh Apple votive. That and Key Lime Pie are my favourite scents in that place. I should really expend a little extra money on a couple more votive holders, since I hate spending the extra for the jars. I still may eventually break down and buy the Housewarmer in MacIntosh Apple, considering just how much I like it. The Festival of Lights one that Steven picked out smells pretty good, too.

I actually want to pick up the Citrus & Teakwood one I saw when I was in the store earlier. Ha, evidently, they have chardonnay and merlot scented candles, as well. I'd love to smell those.

I'm still not cool with having had to work an 8 hour solo at work, but since when did my opinion matter? I managed to sneak out for a break because Steven's an absolute darling and watched the store long enough to make the afore-mentioned GAP and Yankee Candle run, as well as a stop by Mickey D's so I could actually have lunch. I'd like to know what kind of manager gets the day after X-Mas off, the following week-end, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day off, especially when the 30th., 31st., and 1st. are when the store inventory is supposed to be taking place. For that manner, what manager gets to work less than 40 hours a week during holiday season? I need to find a new job. Julie's a cunt. I don't care if she did get us gifts. I'm sick of her bull.

I should go to bed. I'm going out to breakfast with Steven, his parents, his brother, and his wife at something like 10:30. This means that I need to be up around 9. Not fun when you've been getting up at 11 to 11:30 all week. It's still better than this morning, though, trying to get up at 8 after the kind of drinking I had been doing the previous night. Besides, I still want to do a little more window shopping before I go to sleep. I want to see what's out there for long sleeved shirts.

Once and again, here's hoping 2004 will be better than 2003.

I'm out of the history class! I guess the guy is kind of a douche bag to everyone, so it's not anything personal that he singled me out to be an asshole to. I'm going to be taking Abnormal Psych instead. Should be a lot more interesting.

The Rox won the other night, so they're now going on into the championships as the Penant South winner. We'll have games minimally on Thursday and possibly Friday and Saturday. We shall see.

I'm groggy. I completely am suffering from early morning and ...other things.