I have baby rabies again

[devilgrrl]

Dear Uterus:

Please stop telling the less logical parts of my brain that we need a baby RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. The object lodged in you, contrary to your beliefs, is not a biological clock. It's an IUD and it there to keep everyone's stupidity in check. Unless you and the ovaries plan on moving out and getting a well paying job to support this hypothetical baby,  we will not be having one for several years. I know babies are cute, but they eventual become evil, evil toddlers. I also understand pregnant bellies are awfully cute, especially on models and celebrites, but I am currently dealing with fat issues. A pregnant belly will not cure this. You could end up looking like Britney's uterus and how would you like that!?

Also, the conspiracy with my ovaries is not necessary. Just because they're happily functioning does not mean you need to. Cramping is also not a good way to convince me you need a baby. Cramps are in no way similar to hunger pangs; they are more akin to annoying whining.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter,
Your Landlord

Comments

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

A couple of our friends are having one, so I'm planning on getting my baby fixes from them. Damn biological clocks, though.