Mm, rotted fish
Dec. 11th, 2006 03:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
devilgrrlThere is something on Taboo about gross food. Currently, there is a lady who is making something called "stinkheads". It involved burying fish in a pit for two weeks, letting botulism flourish, and then eating them. Apparently, they are creamy.
What I find amazing is that this show does not feature my mother-in-law. Sandi does much the same thing, except instead of burying food outside, she puts it in her freezer. I imagine if medical science were to study my inlaws, they would find such a concentration of toxins that they could cure death and Republicanism. Actually, not Republicanism because Steven ate there for years and still votes Republican occasionally. He has some of these hard-won immunities. I don't.
When we were first dating, I attempted to eat things Sandi cooked. Invariably, I would become ill. I kind of assumed it was because my stomach hated me. Slowly, I just stopped eating things there. Then came the day I understood: Sandi gave us hot dogs for 4th of July. Originally, I assumed that she gave us a block of permafrost that she claimed were hot dogs. I chipped away at the ice until the semi-opened packet of weenies. Steven tried to suggest we cook them for dinner, but I was skeptical. I continued to chip. I saw the date of June emerge. Then: the year. Sandi had purchased these hot dogs back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
I immediately contracted food poisoning and died. Then I informed Steven that I would never, ever eat anything that came from his parents' house again. I love my stomach that much.
A couple months ago, Steven decided to clean out the cupboards and the freezer. After throwing out chicken that had seen the Civil War and something that might have been cow, might have been mammoth, he found cans, bent out of shape from gases and the contents begging to be set free to take over the world, hiding behind somewhat recently expired food. When he went to throw them out, my mother-in-law yelled at him. She said they were still good.
I think the canned goods have been talking to her a little too much recently.
What I find amazing is that this show does not feature my mother-in-law. Sandi does much the same thing, except instead of burying food outside, she puts it in her freezer. I imagine if medical science were to study my inlaws, they would find such a concentration of toxins that they could cure death and Republicanism. Actually, not Republicanism because Steven ate there for years and still votes Republican occasionally. He has some of these hard-won immunities. I don't.
When we were first dating, I attempted to eat things Sandi cooked. Invariably, I would become ill. I kind of assumed it was because my stomach hated me. Slowly, I just stopped eating things there. Then came the day I understood: Sandi gave us hot dogs for 4th of July. Originally, I assumed that she gave us a block of permafrost that she claimed were hot dogs. I chipped away at the ice until the semi-opened packet of weenies. Steven tried to suggest we cook them for dinner, but I was skeptical. I continued to chip. I saw the date of June emerge. Then: the year. Sandi had purchased these hot dogs back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
I immediately contracted food poisoning and died. Then I informed Steven that I would never, ever eat anything that came from his parents' house again. I love my stomach that much.
A couple months ago, Steven decided to clean out the cupboards and the freezer. After throwing out chicken that had seen the Civil War and something that might have been cow, might have been mammoth, he found cans, bent out of shape from gases and the contents begging to be set free to take over the world, hiding behind somewhat recently expired food. When he went to throw them out, my mother-in-law yelled at him. She said they were still good.
I think the canned goods have been talking to her a little too much recently.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-12 05:18 am (UTC)I thank Providence that my inlaws are Jewish and do not eat pig products. I can't imagine the horror and carnage that would ensue.
Perhaps your grandmother and my MIL could do lunch and their expired produce could plan its Unholy Plot to take over the World?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-12 09:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-13 12:15 am (UTC)