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Frakking Undead Pests
Jun. 13th, 2007 11:57 pmYou know, this happens every single summer. It's gets a little warm, a tiny bit rainy, and the equinox started approaching, and it's bloody frakking zombies all over everywhere, like festering, groaning roaches. They're the undead equivalent of anoles or kissing bugs.
At least June 13th came on a Wednesday this year. There's six times as many of them, all milling about, sniffing people's hindbrains like mongrel dogs when it happens to fall on a Friday.
I'll give them this, though, they're better than the plague of imps that showed up last year on 06/06/06. All hissing and mating on the tops of cars, and then dropping dead less than 24 hours later because no one thought to invent an imp with a mouth. I mean, good Lord, aren't they supposed to have gaping maws full of horrible teeth and sulfuric breath that would melt the bolts off a battleship? I might be thinking of demons, though.
I suppose at least the zombies are keeping the fairies down this year. I smashed one on my bathroom floor the other day. I found it crawling out of my dirty laundry, bold as a rooster, dripping glitter all over the floor and staring at me with its vacant, beady eyes.
Yes, I definitely think I prefer zombies. At least you can shoo them with a broom or distract them with a brainfeeder in the yard. I could deal without all the moaning about brains this and drooling that, though.
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It's zombie meme day!
At least June 13th came on a Wednesday this year. There's six times as many of them, all milling about, sniffing people's hindbrains like mongrel dogs when it happens to fall on a Friday.
I'll give them this, though, they're better than the plague of imps that showed up last year on 06/06/06. All hissing and mating on the tops of cars, and then dropping dead less than 24 hours later because no one thought to invent an imp with a mouth. I mean, good Lord, aren't they supposed to have gaping maws full of horrible teeth and sulfuric breath that would melt the bolts off a battleship? I might be thinking of demons, though.
I suppose at least the zombies are keeping the fairies down this year. I smashed one on my bathroom floor the other day. I found it crawling out of my dirty laundry, bold as a rooster, dripping glitter all over the floor and staring at me with its vacant, beady eyes.
Yes, I definitely think I prefer zombies. At least you can shoo them with a broom or distract them with a brainfeeder in the yard. I could deal without all the moaning about brains this and drooling that, though.
---
It's zombie meme day!
