:(

Jul. 24th, 2008 01:53 pm
devilgrrl: (Default)
Dear Cat:

I realize I have moved into your house, but as I have both opposable thumbs and the ability to pay the bills, we are going to have to learn to share our space. This will involve several rules.

First, we are not nocturnal. The hallway does not magically turn into Kitty Int'l Raceway between 23'00 and 3'00. Breakfast is not served when racing concludes. Ideally, it needs to wait until the sun rises. Also, you are a cat; this means you eat your food and I will eat mine. Yoghurt does not, generally, contain dangerous additives and I don't need you checking it for quality. Same applies to things I am drinking. My coffee milk? Probably safe for human consumption.

Second, stop acting like I am electrocuting you whenever I touch you before returning and sucking up to me to rub your belly. It is also not necessary to act like I am going to eat your soul or grind you into sausage because I happen to be on the same floor as you.

Half eaten grapes do not become toys nor do they belong in your litter box. Either finish it or let me throw it away.

I am toilet trained. There's no need for you to spread little all over the floor "just in case".

The internet is not for you. My mouse is not edible and again, since you lack thumbs, you are not capable of typing. My friends don't care what you have to say. Hiding your head behind the screen does NOT make you invisible. Stop acting shocked when I bodily remove you from my computer. You're not fooling me.

But most importantly, Cat, stop nomming on my toes when I am sitting on the couch. They are not delicious and I don't like it. Licking my ankles is not okay either. You are not entitled to be offended when I move or you get kicked because you bit down and I didn't know you were there. Living with you is like living with a slightly dim, furry zombie. 
devilgrrl: (Default)
I am now, officially, a licensed Rhode Island driver. I wasted several hours of my life at the RMV today, after oversleeping by two hours, and rushing to get down there. There is no RMV in Providence; there is one in Pawtucket and it is only open until 3:15. It is also in the old Apex building, which luckily I know how to get to. I brought a book with me, luckily, because I was there over two hours.

I was lured into Apex afterwards. I bought Steven a shirt for $7 and I splurged on myself and got a Beehouse tea pot in aqua, so as to match our china and my KitchenAid. That was $23, down from $30. But hey, it has a basket for my loose tea, so I am happy.

Yay for my photographic memory; I headed to Mt. Hope to the Whole Foods Plaza. I had lunch at Boston Market because it was almost 16.00 and I was starving, since I hadn't had breakfast or even grabbed a soda before I left. This time, we weren't in a cranky rush, so I wandered around, bought household staples (yoghurt, peanut butter, and bananas), as well as some salad, more dishsoap I am not allergic to, and other things I can't remember. I was also seduced by a pepper plant, which is came home with me. Since we already had Horace, I decided this one should be called Mut and we'll just name all our plants after Egyptian gods. I have no idea what kind of pepper it is, but I think I want to pickle some of them.

The highway was a clusterfrak, so I decided that I would just go home via the East Side. Of course, I've only been this way once, but dammit, I was going to skip the highway. I was 2/3s of the way down Waterman Ave. when I saw Steven. Since I'm awesome, I picked him and we headed back here.

Now, the next part is the topper for my day of awesome. My cat has eaten some of my school paperwork. Apparently, no one informed Racetrack that eating work is a dog's domain. When I go over to RIC next week, I am now going to have to explain that my stupid, stupid kitten ate my papers. And I am going to be sure to bring the nibbled-upon work with me.

Now I'm sitting out on the porch, soda in hand, watching Steven mow the lawn and spray for earwigs. Wireless internet is made of win.

Job interview tomorrow and, I think, bus riding most of the day Friday or Monday, whichever is the better of the two days.

I just noticed... My back lawn is entirely covered with little violet plants. My grandmother would have been thrilled. They were her favourite flowers too.

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