Dear Cat:

[devilgrrl]

We seemed to have reached another impasse, Cat. It seems, in the last few weeks, you have decided that if I get within 5 feet of you, I am going to develop fangs and EAT YOUR SOUL. This is not true, but since it keeps you out from underfoot in the Unholy Early™, I am also not inclined to really make an effort to change your mind.

I am ok if you want to be down here. I am mostly ok if you want to loiter around the bathroom. I am not pleased about your potty drinking; I know this has been a past issue. But Cat, this morning was REALLY the last straw.

Not only were you in the bathroom, not only were you crouched like a gargoyle on my toilet but when I walked by, YOU HISSED AT ME LIKE I WAS GOING TO STEAL YOUR PRECIOUS POTTY WATER.

First, I was not even going in the bathroom. I just about to leave for work. But seriously, really? Where do you get off hissing at me ON MY TOILET? If it were your food bowl, I could understand. If I were feeding you something and tried to take it back, fine, BUT IT IS A TOILET! It is my toilet.

I am going to start shutting the bathroom door, Cat, if this keeps up. Despite what you think, this is not a Very Large Cat Palace. While the bathroom may contain a throne, it is not Goddammit's Throne Room. You have your own litterbox, you don't need to commandeer mine.

Comments

[call-me-ps.livejournal.com]

I love your dear cat letters. They crack me up.

(We have to put the lid down on our potty for this same issue...)

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

:)

It wasn't even the drinking from the potty, it was the fact that she hissed at me! Like it was hers!

[doodle.livejournal.com]

teehee!

I learned to put the lid down ALWAYS after living with a very clumsy Scottish Fold dwarf kitty who would fall in the toilet. The habit has stuck for 10 years already. :D

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

I usually do put it down, but sometimes it doesn't connect. But seriously, THAT SHE HISSES AT ME FROM MY TOILET! Bah.

[judithiscariot.livejournal.com]

I LOL'd, read it to my husband, who also LOL'd. Good show.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd appreciate!

[lassie-faire.livejournal.com]

These entries are always my favorite. :D

Goddammit is best stark-raving-mad cat I have ever read about.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

She really is batshit crazy. I mean, generally, she's not vicious, but she is moody and insane.

The little bastard turned a year old yesterday.