Frakking Teenagers

[devilgrrl]

Dear Asshole Drivers:

I wasn't a teenager that long ago. I know how exciting getting your license is. You can cruise around with your friends, you don't need a ride to the mall, hell, you can make out in the privacy of your own car. How exciting.

I also understand that it's very exciting being Away! At college! No more Mum or Dad telling you when to come home, to do your homework, to not drink so much that your stomach need to be pumped out... You're free!

So, really, it's very tempting to drive like complete douches while on your want back to your own little dorm and really, I know I'm a miserable adult who's just going tell you what to do and leave you alone, but listen...

Cars? Still huge and deadly. I can live with tailgating while you guys bounce in your car like epileptic chihuahuas (psst, people can see you and no matter how cool the song is, you look stupid). Yes, you need a car length to stop and no, the speed limit isn't the same as how fast the drums are in your song. It's 20mpg. 2-0. No, I am not going to speed up; I like my clean driving record.

But what really pissed me off was you trying to pass me on the left WHILE I WAS TURNING LEFT WITH MY BLINKER ON. I'm sorry it's a one way and there are cars parked on the other side so you couldn't get to your wretched little dorm party even faster. And no, it wasn't worth laughing when your car missed my (turning) car by mere inches. Let me clue you, those words I was saying? They weren't "Cheerio, chaps, mighty good show!"

Nor was it cute when you decided to wait, like I was going to drive up after you and I don't even know what... Maybe slam into your car? Start a fist fight? I save those for bars (which I am old enough to get into, thanks.) Congratulate you on your especially stupid driving?

Oh, and the people staring and gaping? A word to the wise, chickadees, we call those witnesses in the real world. If you'd hit me, they would have all told the nice police (those guys who break up your parties) that you were driving to endanger. That means you get a ticket, your insurance goes up, and I get a cash payout because you frakked up my car. Also: your parents will probably be pissed, since they'll end up paying for it.

And you wonder why people complain about teen drivers. Here's hoping you don't kill someone, cuntbags.

Comments

[call-me-ps.livejournal.com]

Grrrrrr...

Does this rant officially make you the grumpy old cat lady on the street? ;-)

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

I seriously pondered that after since I was all swearing in the car about damn teenagers and how they shouldn't be driving and lalala...

To be fair, though, I never drove that bad when I was a teen.

[lassie-faire.livejournal.com]

UGH. I hate people like this. I have never in my life driven like that (even when I was younger). [And when people tailgate me? I drive veeerryyy sloooowwwlllyyy just because I can...]

I swear though, I could write a rant on my sister for her text messaging while DRIVING on the FREEWAY. It is hella scary.

As an aside, I love your writing style. :)

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks. I sadly talk like this, as well.

Texting while driving freaks me out so badly. I don't even like texting while walking. I always trip.

I drive the speed limit. I've never had a traffic ticket and I damn well like it that way. I'm not going to speed for some damn kid who needs to get to her next party OMG!RFN!

[lassie-faire.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I am the most horrible texter. My sister on the other hand, texts (with both hands), and then when the car drifts too close to another car grabs the wheel rights it straight, car drifts more, etc. It is the scariest thing ever. I don't think i've rode in her car since!

Admittedly, I do not drive the speed limit (i'm always about five over) but if someone is tailgating me? I'm going to go five miles UNDER. And I have never had a ticket either! :)

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

I put the cruise control on 25 my whole way to work because everyone speeds through there (limit is indeed 25). It makes people so angry!

[ladyluna.livejournal.com]

You know...my problems with driving tend to be adults. I had one guy flip me off and pass me on the highway because when we turned onto the highway I merged faster than he did.

Okay, that sounds strange. I was at the inside turn lane turning left to get onto the ramp to the highway. He was on the outside. I made my turn at a normal speed instead of slowing down and letting sir-owns-it-all in front of me. Sorry, you were still behind me, so I was suppose to stop and let you go a cars length so you could "beat me" to the highway. Seriously.

But yeah, if you're old enough to be in college you're old enough to grow up. I wonder if mommy and daddy pay all their bills.

At least you're alright.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

This is true. What matters is that the accident was avoided. I luckily had just started turning and slamming on the brakes was ok.

Seriously, though, driving seems to be getting worse. I see people running lights, on the phones/texting, speeding, or just being reckless. And you're right, it isn't just teens. It's everyone.

I'm guessing these two geniuses will probably fail out this semester from too much partying and too little studying.

[nowitsdark0.livejournal.com]

In my neighborhood, it's stupid teenagers on bikes. They have a bike lane. Do they use it? No. Two weeks ago, a fifteen year old boy was hit and killed on the street fronting my complex. I didn't even feel bad for him, because he was one of those asshole kids who rides their bike like a fucking moron. I felt bad for his family, for me, for having the image of his mutilated head in my brain for the rest of my life, and most of all, for the woman who hit his stupid ass. But him? No, sir. He turned off a side street onto the main street without even looking and she couldn't stop in time. Luckily for her, she was not charged with anything. You think that would learn the kids in the neighborhood, right? Noooo. The day after it happened, I witnessed a teenage boy, straddling his bike in the middle of the street, scratching his ass. GAH!!!

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

What is wrong with kids these days? I mean really, didn't their parents ever tell them to not play in the damned road? My mother would have shot me if I ever horsed around with any kind of vehicle.

Just what you needed, brain splatter.

Your icon makes this comment.

[dani-oso.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, and yes. I really hate living in a college town for this very reason. Even if you know nothing about the university here, you'll know when school is starting because of how terrible the traffic gets with cars full of bouncing teenagers who drive two miles to the mall, yet have to park two miles away from their dorms. I wish they'd make all the incoming freshmen ride the bus (hey, it's free for students!). But I'm a bitter old shrew.

Also, once you turn 65, you should just have to hand over your license. ;) (Well, not really, but a lot of them should!)

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

God, I wish we had free busing and better service here. I would love to take the bus. RIC is the only college here without free or reduced fare.

I really understand why they usually make first years leave their cars at home. Most of them aren't responsible enough and living on campus is a big enough to do. Of course, I also think the driving test should be much harder.

*cough* Elderly driving... I know much about this.

[dolphinluv2783.livejournal.com]

This happened to one of my coworkers. She got passed on the left while she was making a left hand turn, but she got in an accident. Somehow the asshat cop thought it was her fault because her car did the hitting, so she had to contest her ticket. And the driver that passed her on the left was a teenager. Huh. Go figure.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

How on earth did the cop ticket her? That's frakking INSANE. It's like crying in baseball, there's no passing on the outside lane.

I really think they should make licensing harder. All I did was go do a three point turn and not go down a one way. There was no way he could have tested my skills with that little observation.