Won't be on on/coherent for a bit.

[devilgrrl]

My grandmother passed away this morning at 8:30. I am not handling it especially well, so I'm not sure how much I'll be on (probably a lot) or responding to people (probably very little). We're heading down to RI right now to be with family.

Comments

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

She was always my touchstone. I don't know how I'm going to live without her. I don't know who I'm going to call when I need advice anymore. She was always there for me, telling me I was fine, I wasn't a screw-up, and she'd always love me.

I don't know how I'm going to keep going, Jess. I don't know how.

[nyhamsterhouse.livejournal.com]

I don't know who you will call, to be honest, or rely upon, or even think of... but it will be someone. I only know this because you are strong and so many people love you, that whether one person fills that void (not in the sense of "replacing" but rather "taking over that mantle") or whether it takes ten people to do it, you will still get advice and unconditional love from the people around you.

I know you will keep going. Look back at your journal, at your life. You are here now, amazingly. And you will continue.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm sure my mother and I will become closer now, but still... right now it's a poor substitute because all I want is her, you know? She always made me feel like I was someone special instead of a fuckup kid.

What's it Dory says in Finding Nemo? Just keep swimming. That's what I'm doing right now. It's all I can do right now.

[nyhamsterhouse.livejournal.com]

It's the same solid advice I know that you would give me in a similar situation, so... yes, keep swimming. I'm thinking of you, hon.

[devilgrrl.livejournal.com]

It's funny what pearls of wisdom you can glean from a kids' movie. It's just hard when it feels like I'm going upstream right now. Thanks <3