Too bad I'm voting Tigh/Roslin

Your Issue Profile: 80% Obama, 20% McCain

When it comes to the issues, you agree with Obama on almost everything. Surprised? Probably not. You've had your eye on Obama for a while. In fact, you're likely already a strong Obama supporter. You know where your vote is going this November.

Should You Vote for Obama or McCain?

Tigh/Roslin '08
Note: Yes, I realized voting is SRS BIZNIS. Play nice in comments.

Frakking Teenagers

Dear Asshole Drivers:

I wasn't a teenager that long ago. I know how exciting getting your license is. You can cruise around with your friends, you don't need a ride to the mall, hell, you can make out in the privacy of your own car. How exciting.

I also understand that it's very exciting being Away! At college! No more Mum or Dad telling you when to come home, to do your homework, to not drink so much that your stomach need to be pumped out... You're free!

So, really, it's very tempting to drive like complete douches while on your want back to your own little dorm and really, I know I'm a miserable adult who's just going tell you what to do and leave you alone, but listen...

Cars? Still huge and deadly. I can live with tailgating while you guys bounce in your car like epileptic chihuahuas (psst, people can see you and no matter how cool the song is, you look stupid). Yes, you need a car length to stop and no, the speed limit isn't the same as how fast the drums are in your song. It's 20mpg. 2-0. No, I am not going to speed up; I like my clean driving record.

But what really pissed me off was you trying to pass me on the left WHILE I WAS TURNING LEFT WITH MY BLINKER ON. I'm sorry it's a one way and there are cars parked on the other side so you couldn't get to your wretched little dorm party even faster. And no, it wasn't worth laughing when your car missed my (turning) car by mere inches. Let me clue you, those words I was saying? They weren't "Cheerio, chaps, mighty good show!"

Nor was it cute when you decided to wait, like I was going to drive up after you and I don't even know what... Maybe slam into your car? Start a fist fight? I save those for bars (which I am old enough to get into, thanks.) Congratulate you on your especially stupid driving?

Oh, and the people staring and gaping? A word to the wise, chickadees, we call those witnesses in the real world. If you'd hit me, they would have all told the nice police (those guys who break up your parties) that you were driving to endanger. That means you get a ticket, your insurance goes up, and I get a cash payout because you frakked up my car. Also: your parents will probably be pissed, since they'll end up paying for it.

And you wonder why people complain about teen drivers. Here's hoping you don't kill someone, cuntbags.