Baaa

( I'm not dead, I just suck. )

Steven FAILS at quiet

Everyone see the Emerald Nuts/Robert Goulet ad? I live with that.

Since I'm kind of coming down with something, I figured that I would sort of doze on the couch. I told Steven this since he's occupying the same general space I am.

The actual moment I doze off, special sensors in his brain kick off. Like a lion sensing prey, he knows that I am just entering the realm of comfortable. Then, he pounces. He decided, while I was sleeping, to start to boil a dozen eggs, in hopes their calming sulfur smell would lull me into deeper sleep. Then, he peeled them by what I can only assume was smashing them on the counter repeatedly.

Somehow, I managed to sleep through this. I guess he took this as a personal affront to his failing at quiet, so he decided to drop heavy things, like his briefcase from a fair height. Then, he set about to testing every chair in the house for maximum squeakiness. After that, he popped open a bag of doritoes and started crinkle then loudly enough to wake the dead. Much to his delight, the squeaking/crunching was what finally woke me up. Mission accomplished.

It goes without saying that now that I'm awake, he has sat quietly in his chair for a good half hour. Not squeaking.