Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

I'm going to eat crow for another night. The BoSox have again proved me wrong and won. I actually missed the end of the game; I was too afraid they were going to blow that measly one run lead they had in the 8th.

It's too bad about the Cubs, though. I seriously would have liked to see them go all the way. In the end, it's all ok because I like the Marlins as well. I'm pretty happy as long as someone other than the Yankees wins. It's not that the Yankees are a bad team, or, you know, Yankees suck, or anything, but they've won so much and the team is totally bought. I'd rather see someone go on hard work.

Enough baseball. I finally got a new cell phone, since the Nokia hasn't been working right for probably the last 6 months now. It's an Audiovox CM8600. It's actually really cool. It's got colour display and 9 million other features that I've only minorly tested out. I did utilise my ability to download ringtones, already, though. I searched through the one of the sites that I can chose songs from and found Ravel's Bolero, which is one of my absolute favourite songs. It's worth the entire $1.99 highway-robbery-price-for-34-seconds I paid for it.

Ooh, riots in Boston... Yay.

I should go to bed. I have to get up early for work tomorrow and I so don't want to. I'm still feeling kind of blah from being sick for the last couple days, so all I really want to do is sleep. Tomorrow is payday, though, and I definitely need the money. Finally got the bank thing figured out; I guess there was a glitch in online banking that was giving out a random guess on what you had in your bank account. Everything's all set now, though.

Ok, I need to pick out clothes to wear to work tomorrow and get my ass into bed.

Looks like the BoSox might do something useful...

Well, maybe not. They've practically walked the first batter of the bottom of the 9th. I take that back, they did walk him. Still, all they need is three more outs and they go on to face the Yankees.

ARGH! Why did they have to walk two people!? I am never, ever going to watch a Sox game again if they somehow manage to blow this one. I'm going to console myself by eating pretzels. I'm wicked excited. I kept dinner down, plus a yoghurt. I yakked up lunch, though, which was too bad, because it was really good. Then, I got home and promptly feel asleep until like 8, when Steven came over bearing dinner. I can't believe how gross I felt all day. Even my grandmother said I looked kind of pallid yesterday. Goddamned flu. I never get sick this early on.

Doctor's appointment tomorrow for my knee and to get a note for being out sick today. Yay, 9am. I'm actually going to go to bed soon to sleep some more. I'm still wicked impressed that those slobs managed to win. Here's hoping they go all the way.

I want to see that new show "Tru Calling". It actually looks pretty decent. There's nothing I like more than shows about talking dead people. Didn't they have something like this, Early Edition, that was on a few years ago? This looks little better planned out, plus they use the Evanescence song I like. I'll probably miss it, though, because I'll forget it's on. Oh well, I can tape it.

When they go down, I want to get a DVD-R player. That would make my life way easier. Either that or I need to get a cheap VCR so I can record/watch things.

They're replaying the collision with Jackson and Damon. Not good. Damon was out for a while and had to be taken off the field in an ambulance. Not good.

Okay, must sleep even more than the whole afternoon I slept.

So the Rox are now the Champs über alles. There was much spraying of champagne and dumping of gatorade and the slight melancholy that the season was truly over.

I'd have more to write about this, but I'm still tired from my morning CT scan.

Still not feeling well. We went to the first playoff home game and, despite making things really tense, they won 3 to 1. If they win tomorrow night, they win the Southern Division and go on to face North Shore Spirit with home field advantage. Yay for being the wildcard. Anyhow, we have a game tomorrow at 5:05 and I'm hoping that I feel better than I did today.I felt awful today. Most of the game, I felt dizzy, lightheaded, and disoriented, not to mention nauseous. Steven said that I was incredibly irritable, as well. My heart kept fucking up while I was there, which made me really catch my breath a couple of times.

I'm very stressed about my meeting with the Dean of Students on Monday. I always feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion, even though I know I'm not. The teacher does single me out and is not nice about it. I feel like I'm in junior high when I'm in that class. It's so incredibly frustrating to be in this class from the Classical Archaeology that I took at UMass last semester. Makes me want to scream. I want Monday to be over.

The cat has curled up and is out like a light on my bed.. He's alternating between my bed and my chair, but I've just put my electric blanket on, so the bed is far more choice.

Steven's meeting me later tomorrow because I have an assload of homework I should do. It's mostly reading and a one paragraph paper on some poem of Wordsworth's. Shouldn't be that bad, just dull. Soc should be at least interesting. The guy teaches at UMass and had seen me around/heard of me from Lester, which bodes well on my end.

There is no French Homework. I have no book and am waiting for it to have come in. I have it prepaid, though, so whenever it shows up, I can just run in and grab it. French will be fine, but (again) dull. I've got the grudging respect of my prof., as I know all sorts of neat things, like how much French wine consumption was up this year, despite the war (+0.2%), that Maison Robert is off School Street and this is it's last season, and that this is the earliest wine harvest since the 1800s and is expected to produce one of the best vintages since the 40s. As long as she leaves me to my own devices.

No word back on my bloodwork or my job search. It'll be wierd to not file my unemployment tomorrow. I've been doing it for the last 9 months. I'm going to miss that regular cheque. I'm getting very nervous about not finding a job. I need to hit some restaurants to apply for hostessing spots. The big thing is that I don't want to work more than 20 hours a week right now. I need to get good grades, which means I need more time to do work. I can't end up doing what I was at Country Marketplace. The week my huge-ass term paper was do, I was scheduled to work an assload of hours and I told my boss that I needed the days that Meg was working to do my paper. Meg, in her thoughtful fashion, flaked and asked me to cover and I told her no. She ended up not coming in on the day that she has asked me to work and I had already told her I couldn't. She closed the store, I got in an assload of trouble.

I also got yelled at for doing my Soc midterm there. I was stuck working a night that Meg was supposed to and I had to have the midterm done for the next class, so voilá. I did the midterm at the desk. I don't think I can do that with the GAP.

Bleh.. I need to finish my cherry coke (yay, hiccups cure!) and get some sleep. Ambien makes me groggy.

I should go to bed. I just took the ambien and am just killing time until it kicks in. That and I'm half-ass watching Food TV on school lunches. I can't believe it's almost September. In fact, a week from tomorrow is Labour Day.

Tomorrow is going to suck. I need to call the lady from The Limited back to let her know that I do, indeed, want to schedule and interview for the time being, even though the job is in Kingston and I do not want to drive that far; I need to call Massasoit and make sure that my financial aid stuff has gone through and, if it has, register for classes and I'm having more bloodwork in the morning. Yay for me. I hate having bloodwork. Steven's going to call me around 9 so I have time to get up, shower, take an ativan, and put my EMLA on before I go to the lab. Yay for fucking cancer tests.

Our fish, Caesar, is still living despite the odds of having spent $14.14 on medicine, new rocks, and a new filter for him yesterday, when he was literally on Death's door. He's looking better now; I guess the meds we bought for him really do a number on whatever he has when you catch it in time. I just feel really guilty that I couldn't catch it in time to save Uncle Creepy. I felt so bad yesterday when we found him dead...

We ended up getting to the game in the bottom of the 7th. They won 11-5, which they really needed, since they're in the middle of a penant race. I think they're tied for second in the league right now and a game or so behind Quebec, who are the league leaders right now. They're also first in the wild card race, if it comes to that. If they make the playoffs, we're going to have to find a way to get the money to see a couple games of the series. I'd love to see Brockton get a championship. They've played incredibly well this year.

New monitor makes funny buzzing sounds I'm not used to. It's kind of freaky.

No game tomorrow night. I think I'm going to work on my refinishing projects and maybe pull apart the fan and clean it because it's filthy. I'm considering hosing it down like I did the blind today. Seemed to work pretty well. If not, I'll clean it the old fashioned, elbow grease way. I think we're going to try (read: I'm going to start, get frustrated, and Steven, because he's a sweetheart, will end up doing it for me before I break something.) to put the DVD player/home theatre up. This is the same thing that happened yesterday with the TV stand. I got frustrated and he offered. He also vaccuumed for me yesterday as well. I could not have gotten all the work done without him.

Hopefully tomorrow is not a frustrating day. Maybe a trip to the maket and the fabric store, then some more refinishing. I think that will be my new hobby: refinishing things for my new room. I need to get picture hangers so I can put up my awesome silk embroidered chinese ...painting... I guess. I just don't know where to put it.

I do, however, have my little maneki neko back in my room in a promient place. Hopefully, she will bring me the good luck I need. I'd really like to get one of the big ones from Chinatown next time we go in. I think they're amazing good luck charms. Steven took my to this place called the Silky Way. I'm so in love with it.. I want to go back so badly. Well, when I have cash to buy things for the room.

Things I Still Need For Room:

material for curains

prints and frames to decorate walls

a bigger/more traditional maneki neko

dry erase/cork board

stuff to make shelves

That's all I can think of for now. I totally need sleep. I cannot type anymore.

Not in a good mood. I'm two glasses of wine, one beer, an ativan, and an ambien into the rest of the night and I'm still horribly depressed. Went to the game tonight; did not enjoy the game in the least. I felt like I was watching a movie of someone else watching a game.

Went to my third successive oncologist today. I actually like this guy and he spent an hour going over symptoms and such with me, rather than Dr. Mei, who was all CANCER CANCER CANCER and Dr. Miller who totally ruled it out before any tests. This guy was concerned about my recent cough, as well as the shortness of breath (and I know I'm not that out of shape that I should get winded talking or walking up some stairs), but was not totally ready to hand me down the sentence of the big C. Lung cancer is unusual at 22, but not unheard of and he felt he'd rather totally rule it out than leave anything to chance.

I have to have more blood draws on Monday, as well as the therapist appointment and I need to call stupid, fucking Massasoit to see if my appeal got through and I can register for classes or what. More depression shit.

I swear to god, I'm moving to Rhode Island as soon as I can get a job and a place.

Still depressed, still miserable.. I still feel like I'm going to cry again.

Tomorrow should be just as good. We're cleaning the room and draining and moving the waterbed so I can finally have a little change from the way it looked when my ex still lived here. That, and the mess is making me stir-fucking-crazy. I hate living in a mess, but I'm too depressed to clean. Perfect Catch-22.

I'm going to go now and hope that, by the grace of god, I don't bother waking up tomorrow. I don't want to clean.