Johnny Damon

[devilgrrl]

[13:36] Carleigh: JOHNNY DAMON SIGNED WITH THE YANKEES
[13:36] Carleigh: HOLY FUCKTWAT
[13:36] Carleigh: MY BOYFRIEND IS SATAN NOW
[13:36] StarrxMexKitten: god, i know
[13:36] Carleigh: JOHNNY I WAS GOING TO HAVE YOUR BABIES
[13:37] Carleigh: WHYYYYYYYYYYY JOHNNY WHYYYYYYYY
[13:37] Carleigh: GOD DAMN YOUUUU
[13:37] StarrxMexKitten: it's been all over the news here. the whole city is dying
[13:37] Carleigh: seriously. someone is going to hurt him.
[13:37] StarrxMexKitten: he'll have to cut his hair and shave
[13:37] Carleigh: someone is going to cry.
[13:37] StarrxMexKitten: haha, i know.. you'd think he died, with the restrospective they were doing
[13:37] Carleigh: seriously. someone is going to flip out and go ninja on his ass.
[13:38] Carleigh: my little heart aches for johnny damon and his jesus hair.
[13:38] Carleigh: but ALAS no more, YOU HAVE FORSAKEN MEEEE
[13:38] StarrxMexKitten: serves him right for signing with the yankees
[13:38] StarrxMexKitten: it's judas hair now
[13:38] Carleigh: i hope someone shanks him.
[13:38] StarrxMexKitten: knowing boston fans, i bet someone will
[13:38] StarrxMexKitten: my BIL is probably in mourning
[13:39] Carleigh: im sad :(
[13:39] StarrxMexKitten: i'm still bitter that nomar is with the dodgers
[13:39] Carleigh: fuck nomar
[13:40] StarrxMexKitten: (since we all know i'm a terrible traitor and not a sox fan)
[13:40] StarrxMexKitten: oh jesus.. i can't even call my father. he'll be fucking gloating. he's a yankees fan
[13:40] Carleigh: i hate the yankees.
[13:40] StarrxMexKitten: i'm generally indifferent
[13:41] StarrxMexKitten: but the sox are being totally lame right now
[13:41] Carleigh: i dont know what to do.
[13:41] Carleigh: i love him so much that i might have to like the yankees now. i mean. the red sox are my favorite. no matter what.
[13:41] Carleigh: but they ARE so lame right now
[13:41] StarrxMexKitten: pray that they'll get theo back and straighten out things
[13:41] Carleigh: this is so confusing. its like a 6 year old who's parents divorce
[13:42] StarrxMexKitten: it really is
[13:42] StarrxMexKitten: mommy? why doesn't johnny love us anymore?
[13:45] Carleigh: when is johnny coming hoooome
[13:45] StarrxMexKitten: did i do something to make johnny want to leave?
[13:45] Carleigh: I guess this means Johnny isn't getting me a christmas present
[13:46] StarrxMexKitten: haha, i guess it'll be like visitation when the yankees come to town
[13:46] StarrxMexKitten: kind of like he has a new GF that no one really likes
[13:47] Carleigh: best analogy ever
[13:47] Carleigh: except the new gf is worse.
[13:47] Carleigh: it's like doing the naughty with satan
[13:48] StarrxMexKitten: it really is
[13:48] StarrxMexKitten: mid-career crisis, so he has to go with the flashiest GF he can find instead of the loyal wife
[13:48] StarrxMexKitten: oh wait, didn't he already do that?
[13:50] Carleigh: sigh
[13:51] Carleigh: i am heartbroken
[13:51] StarrxMexKitten: much of red sox nation is
[13:51] Carleigh: rob is like YOU CANT LIKE A TEAM FOR ONE PLAYER
[13:51] Carleigh: and im like I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THOUGH
[13:52] StarrxMexKitten: bah. i'm perfectly willing to hate teams for one player, so you can like teams for one player
[13:53] Carleigh: i feel like i'm lying for my older brother by liking the yankees
[13:53] Carleigh: like committing some huge sin against my family
[13:54] Carleigh: DAMN YOU JOHNNY FOR COMPROMISING MY BELIEF SYSTEM
[13:54] StarrxMexKitten: mm, it could also be like sleeping with your ex's biggest rival to get back at him
[13:54] Carleigh: jfwahfahfwa