Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

The Mirena is totally the best thing I've ever done for our sex life. I was actually able to get dripping wet while I was blowing Steven and we went for it again. No real crampies this time and my body is definitely adjusting to orgasming. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to go for clitoral orgasms, since that would make my uterus contract, but I'm all about the G spot right now.

So, yep, twice in one night and no need for artificial lube. I'm more excited than anyone probably cares to know.

Anyhow I should get some sleep now since I'm going out with Laura tomorrow afternoon. (Laura, I'm actually not going to need to be dropped at work at all, since apparently, I'd have no ride home if I went. I totally forgot about this, so we can do something after the airport thing, if you'd like.)

So the Mirena has been in for 24 hours. I checked my strings for the first time today and everything feels a-ok. It's a little wierd to feel fishing line up there, but I'm happy as long as it stays where it belongs. I've been a little crampy today, but it's not constant. Anything tight around my belly is uncomfortable, so I picked up a pair of nice, comfy yoga pants I can wear and not look totally schlumpy. I have a pair of comfy shorts to wear around here too. Mom bought me a nice white layering tank, too, but that had nothing to do with needing comfy clothes.

Anyhow, yea, so life goes on. My cervix feels pretty normal, though it's still a little soft. I'm thinking about maybe trying sex tomorrow if Steven feels up to it, since he's actually sick, too. Otherwise, I can wait till the week-end. I probably should wait till the week-end. It's only two more days, but this is seriously the longest I've every gone without sex since we started dating. I don't know what I'll do when I have a kid.

My mom told me I looked pregnant today, since my belly is all  bloated and I kept rubbing my poor, crampy tummy. She made it up to me though. She bought me a heating pad.

We put up the tree tonight. Let this be a lesson to you: never, ever try to put lights on a tree with someone who has a degree in lighting design. Our tree looks damned good, though. I'll probably take a picture of it tomorrow. I'd do it tonight, but I'm kind of sleepy now. I did not sleep to well last night after the painkiller worn off and I never took the nap I wanted today.

I should work on Steven's Mistake Scarf tomorrow. I need to start Mom's when I'm done. Bleh. I need to sleep is what I really need to do.

Misoprostol's side effects can totally suck my ass. I guess it's working the way it should, since I'm sure as fuck bleeding more than I was earlier. I'm also crampy and having innard issues. I took a couple Immodium, so hopefully that will help. I get to take one more at 6am, so yay for my morning/afternoon.

We got our tree tonight. Laura let us use her car to pick up the tree, which is apparently a "good tree, lots of sap". Actually, it's a really nice tree that Laura found while wandering. I'm watching it settle right now. I think Steven is going to put lights on it tomorrow, while I lay around and am crampy. Well, and while I download Christmas music and whine, too.

I need to get some frames this week so I can finish our presents. My parents, my inlaws, and my grandparents are all getting copies of our engagement photos. We never had time to do a family portrait this year, before it got all cold and crappy.

We actually got snow all day today. We have like 2" and I guess we're in for 6"+ Tuesday. I'm still not feeling very Christmasy yet, though. I played Christmas music all day and I helped the kid write a letter to Santa. I actually need to print out the reply so I can send it out on Wednesday with my Christmas cards. We also glued together the little foam things I bought for him to make for his mother and for my inlaws.

Oh god, apparently my MIL has relented on having their Hanukkah party on Christmas Day. She was super pissy that Steven told her she could go right the fuck ahead, but none of us would be there since, well, it was Christmas Day and I am Catholic, as well as his divorce decree specifies that Elliott spends Christmas with the ex. Of course, we all know that only my MIL matters. I should totally post that to stuck_with_them. I think I shall. I guess she's having the thing on Wednesday now. I kind of wish we could just have it here. She always pisses and moans about how Steven and I should come over and clean her house for her. You know, because we live in a self-cleaning apartment or have a maid or something. We still have plenty of cleaning to do here before our holiday party.

Yep, mark December 18th off on your calendar. We're having our party the Sunday before Christmas. If you want an eVite, let me know and I'll get that and directions to you. The more the merrier. I'll be sending the eVites out by Wednesday or so. I think we're doing potluck again this year, so if you want in on that, just let me know what you're bringing.

IUD hopefully goes in tomorrow. I'll be super pissed if I can't get it after all the misery from the goddamn misoprostol. I'm going at 6pm, so please think good thoughts for me and my cervix.

I should have Steven make chicken soup out of the delicious chicken leftovers. I roasted a chicken for dinner tonight, complete with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and peas. I tried to feed Laura, but she gave me some lame ass excuse about having to work tomorrow. Pfft, who needs work? We actually didn't eat until like 11, since I fucked around with the chicken until like 9:30. I called Dawn, at least, who's now in on the lovin' my pie thing. We've got a pie threeway going here. We're going up in January and I told her I'd bake a pie for everyone while I was up there. What I might do is make it all here and then just bake it there. I'm not sure yet.

Blah, I got no knitting done today. I guess I at least accomplished a few other things. I'm going to go print stuff now and then head to sleep, if my innards will knock it the fuck off. 

45 minutes to go and I just took my painkillers. I'm a little nervous, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. I think the stupid Headache That Shall Not Die is helping me be bitter and cranky about something else.

Next entry shall be about the appointment.

Well, I'm one step closer to finally getting my IUD. I went back to the gyno today and told her that I really, seriously can't take the Pill induced misery anymore. I've had this lingering headache since the spotting stopped, I still get killer migraines (which are getting worse) every time I have a placebo week, and I hit a weight loss wall. The rest of it is Pill weight. I consistently gain 20lbs every single time I take the Pill. As soon as I go off it, I lose it. But like I've said a million times, I hate using condoms. We go through too many because they always come off and they're expensive since I can't use the latex ones with out dying. Female condoms are more expensive than the male version, so that's out. Plus, nothing makes me feel like I'm 16 again and trying to sneak in sex before my parents get home than using condoms.So yea...

Dr. McCue definitely agreed that the Pill is no longer a really viable option for me. It's causing too many problems. She nixed the patch right away because of my latex allergy, as well as both versions of the shot (possible latex contamination, as we all my horrible needle fear). However, because of my age and my lack of birthin', she wanted to make sure that we exhausted all options in case my insurance company bitches. So, she put me in for preapproval for my IUD and sent me home with a perscription for the NuvaRing. That way, if my insurance company kicks about getting the IUD, she can tell them that she explored every other viable option. She also though that the lower dosage of hormones may get rid of my perpetual headache.

Does anyone have a horror story to tell me about the ring? She gave me a sample, so I don't need to go out and buy one from the pharmacy. I'm kind of nervous about that tiny thing protecting me from getting pregnant. I'm also a little nervous about it falling out or something. Steven said the same thing: "That's it?" I can keep using my actives if I want, since I have two more months of packets or I can use the NuvaRing.

I think that's it. I'm super tired.

So.. fucking.. sick..

How is it that I always manage to get sick in fucking May? The same damned thing happened last year, too. I swear to god, I must be programmed to get sick in May and again right at Christmas time. I guess I should be glad I only get sick like twice a year, but at the same time, I am vaguely bitter because Steven is like Typhoid Mary: he doesn't get sick, but he brings things home to me all the time. I have taken so much crap to try and get rid of this sooner.

Thus far, I have taken:

• 1 24 hour Sudafed
  
• 2 dyefree Benedryl
  
• 1 Claritin
  
• 1 12 Hour Drixorel
  
• 1 multivitamin for the zinc
  
• 2 Cranberry pills for a little extra C
  
• 2 Tylenol for the fever I seem to have developed
  
• 1 15mg oxycodone painkiller to dull both my hideous sinus headache and to quiet my pissy knee.
  

I am a walking pharmacy today. And damned if the fever isn't making me itchy too. Ugh, it's not just feeling itchy. I looked at my foot and seem to have hives. I must have touched something that didn't like me. I hate being sick. I am one cranky badger tonight, but a badger with lots of low acid OJ, nonetheless.

Enough about my being sick. I went for my very exciting gyno trip yesterday. Of course, I forgot all about it and had sex less than 24 hours before Ye Olde Pap Smear. Whoops.

The appointment wasn't too bad. She was very quick and very gentle. I voiced my concerns about the menstrual migraines and she was rather surprised that I did not get them when I was off the pill. We went through and ticked off the other methods I couldn't or wouldn't use (patch because of latex adhesive and my super sensitive skin, cervical cap and diaphram because they are latex, both shots because of weight concerns and my needle phobia, and possibly the ring because I guess something in it is similar to latex and could potentially be a problem) and which could be possible (pill and IUD).

She was not totally comfortable with automatically saying ok to the IUD since I have not had kids. However, after I mentioned I was engaged, she said she felt more comfortable with considering it. As for now, though, she is going to perscribe a continuous birth control regime, as well as some extra estrogen pills in case I get massive spotting or want to have a period. Not that I can really envision wanting a period or anything.

She was quite pleased with how timely I take my pill and told me that I am very close to being perfect usage. She also confirmed what I originally thought, which is that I have a fairly small pelvic outlet (and she needed to use the smallest speculum, too, because the others were hitting my pubic bone). She warned me that there would be a good possibility that I would either require a c-section or other medical intervention, should I have kids. I guess I can also give up those fisting dreams.

All in all, she was in and out in less than 10 minutes. I didn't feel any of the swabs or the pap smear thingy. She was really pleasant and very personable, which helped relax me. The only thing I didn't like was that she used a lot of lube. Even after wiping off, I still glopped onto my knickers. I suppose that worked out all right, too, as I convinced Steven to help me ...fix... that problem. He was certainly happy to help me out.

We went to the first exhibition game of the season afterwards. I'm not sure why, but going really depressed the hell out of me. It was also freezing yesterday which made my knee act up really badly. It didn't much help my cold, either. We got there late, missed Oil Can Boyd's pitching, and left in the 8th, with the Rox leading 17-5. I hope this year will be better than last. We've moved our seats, so hopefully that will keep away the drunks and other undesirables, such as obnoxious children who beg for balls, step all over me, and spill things on me. The staff was mildly accomodating and did ferry us to and from the car with their golf cart. It's going to be a while before I can trek all the way from the back of the parking lot to the stadium. Even with that, I still overdid it. I also mentioned to Steven that, until my knee is much better, I don't want to try and bring Elliott with us. I need too much help getting around still that it would make it difficult to try and rein him in and help me at the same time. That or if he fell asleep, it would be impossible. Stupid knee.

I'd like to go to bed, but I'm not really sleepy, only medicine heady, and I also don't want to keep Steven up with my snuffling and nose blowing. Speaking of, one of his (maybe our, she seems pretty cool) friends sent us a survey, he filled it out and sent it back, and wrote what I thought was a really sweet line:

whats the last thing you stole? - Probably Samantha's heart.

It struck me as really sweet and, actually, when I thought about it, quite true. Maybe I'm just wierd.

Now that I've rambled lots, I'm going to check my email one more time and then head off to sleep.

I went and washed my face and now I'm little more awake. Sigh.

I'm a little stressed. I stopped taking Ortho Tricyclen almost two months ago and I have yet to actually get my period. It's 2 weeks late. My doctor said it could take up to six months until I get it back, but it's still kind of creepy.

I mean, I don't feel pregnant, exactly.. Just really strange. I suppose if I don't get in a week or two, I'll take a test.

This just struck me because I was talking to a friend of mine tonight and he told me I sounded like a mom; not to be a mom.

Is fate telling me something or am I just paranoid?