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More MIL sweater delights...
I attempted to return The Blouse. Evidently, the saleswoman must have had no sense of smell, thank god, because after spending time in my MIL's residence, it smelt horribly of smoke. After the hour we spent there yesterday, when she was not actively smoking, I still came home and changed because of the smokey smell. I, in fact, must FeBreze my jeans before I wear them again. This is why I hate wearing clean laundry over there.
Anyhow, The Blouse was evidently was on clearance. Now, that's a huge effing surprise! Who would ever have thought that such a lovely item would be on clearance!? Sum total: $13.76... Which I now have as a merchandise credit because my MIL does not believe in gift receipts (only for me, though). She was pestering Steven as to whether or not I liked it. He told her it didn't fit, but I appreciated the sentiment. He also (not so) subtly suggested that if they felt like they needed to get me something, gift cards would be best because I have a hard time finding tops which fit.
This is true. One can obviously see I was blessed by the titty fairy from that photo. I don't actually buy any shirt unless I can try it on, with precious few exceptions.
This probably makes me sound like an evil, ungrateful bitch, but I assure you, my MIL is not a kind yet misguided lady who tried her hardest to find something nice. She did not, at any point, ask Steven my size or what sort of things I liked. She did not mention anything, in fact, until a day before the Hanukkah Party and that was along the lines of "Well, I already bought her something." Yep, sure did. It's pretty obvious that she picked the cheapest thing she could find on the clearance rack. I assume she had a coupon for extra money off, but I can't be sure. Ultimately, I got this, rather than a gift card, because she would have had to spend $20 on a gift card. I'm also guess that, from the smell of it, that she probably bought it for one of her sisters (who would wear it) and decided that it was just as good to pass on to me.
I told Steven she doesn't need to get anything for me. In fact, I would really prefer that if she's going to do what she did this year, she not get me anything at all. From what I've gleaned, she used to actually ask what Steven what his ex wanted.
I must say, though, the MIL shirt tops the expired, nut candies I got for my birthday. (The nice people at Russell Stovers were nice about replacing the expired box with non-nuts, since I am allergic, after all.)
~*~
Ugh, well, tree fiasco is over for the night. It was crooked, so we rescrewed and it seems to be ok for now. Unfortunately, I have been bitten by one of the obnoxious little tree spiders in process, so I have a huge rash on my arm. I love the holidays.
Anyhow, The Blouse was evidently was on clearance. Now, that's a huge effing surprise! Who would ever have thought that such a lovely item would be on clearance!? Sum total: $13.76... Which I now have as a merchandise credit because my MIL does not believe in gift receipts (only for me, though). She was pestering Steven as to whether or not I liked it. He told her it didn't fit, but I appreciated the sentiment. He also (not so) subtly suggested that if they felt like they needed to get me something, gift cards would be best because I have a hard time finding tops which fit.
This is true. One can obviously see I was blessed by the titty fairy from that photo. I don't actually buy any shirt unless I can try it on, with precious few exceptions.
This probably makes me sound like an evil, ungrateful bitch, but I assure you, my MIL is not a kind yet misguided lady who tried her hardest to find something nice. She did not, at any point, ask Steven my size or what sort of things I liked. She did not mention anything, in fact, until a day before the Hanukkah Party and that was along the lines of "Well, I already bought her something." Yep, sure did. It's pretty obvious that she picked the cheapest thing she could find on the clearance rack. I assume she had a coupon for extra money off, but I can't be sure. Ultimately, I got this, rather than a gift card, because she would have had to spend $20 on a gift card. I'm also guess that, from the smell of it, that she probably bought it for one of her sisters (who would wear it) and decided that it was just as good to pass on to me.
I told Steven she doesn't need to get anything for me. In fact, I would really prefer that if she's going to do what she did this year, she not get me anything at all. From what I've gleaned, she used to actually ask what Steven what his ex wanted.
I must say, though, the MIL shirt tops the expired, nut candies I got for my birthday. (The nice people at Russell Stovers were nice about replacing the expired box with non-nuts, since I am allergic, after all.)
Ugh, well, tree fiasco is over for the night. It was crooked, so we rescrewed and it seems to be ok for now. Unfortunately, I have been bitten by one of the obnoxious little tree spiders in process, so I have a huge rash on my arm. I love the holidays.
no subject
a few christmases ago, i was dating this asshole that had a really shitty assed future sister in law.......and i thought we were cool...she asked me to tell her what i wanted for christmas, and i told her....i wanted some gap om, cause i loved that scent and i was out of my supply...i am a hard to fit woman as well, and trust me, the titty fairy visited my mother, grandmother, me, my cousin and almost all of the women on my side of the family...yeah. fun.
so, she told me what she wanted was a vs gift card, and i was like, cool, i could do that...mind you, i was paying back one of my student loans and living hand to mouth in my first apartment in ny and working two crappy jobs to make ends meet....but since you tell me that you want a gift certificate, i will accomodate...cause i am cool like that.
fast forward to the gift exchange day...and she gives me some crappy assed dollar tree gifts...and i know i sound all ungrateful, but i was pissed cause i got her what she wanted and she gets me this cheap assed neck thingie for the tub that i had to blow up and not to mention it had a hole in it!! the candles weren't lighting and they were cheap.....like if you blew on them to put them out they would spatter everywhere....and to add insult to injury they never even lit up...and then in this shitty gift cup she puts in there watermelon tea..and the bitch knew i am allergic to watermelon....so i just take it and no i don't thank her..i know where the shit came from cause i was in the store that sold the crappy shit....you guessed it...dollar tree....grrrrr.
so my ex's mom asked me how i liked my gift and since i am not one to bite my tongue i told her that i fucking hated it and should eryn ever tell me what she wants for x mas i will make a donation to the united way instead of heeding her wishes...eryn overheard and got mad...and told my ex that i was ungrateful.
like the pussy he is, he comes to me demanding to know what happened and i showed him what she bought me...he held me and told me that he would make it up....and on christmas i got my deluxe gap om set, complete with a gift certificate for 500 from the gap from his parents...his mother whom i hate to this day came up to me and told me that she was "sorry and ashamed of her white trash daughter in law" and she knew that i was "raised better than she ever was"...and she hoped the gift made up for how i was slighted....and eryn spent all of xmas crying and saying i was cruel to "show her up" like that. fuck her. never ask me what i want if you aren't prepared to get it for me.
so...i understand how you feel..better you know how she is now, you know?
so
no subject
I've known where I've stood with her since Steven and I started dating, unfortunately. MIL is a scary lady. The reasons she's given Steven for disliking me are that I'm in a cult (because I have a tattoo), I'll steal the good silver (gypsy heritage), I have curly hair (we have no clue why this is a problem), I'm Catholic (like his ex; they're Jewish), I'm rude (because after I say Hi, how are you and she ignores me, I walk off), and because I'm after Steven's money (which he has none).
Oh, and because I put a "hex" on his marriage to end it. I forgot that one.
Laura, since you have more tattoos than me, are you the leader of my cult?
what?!!
i mean, she just hates you is all...his mother told me that i was too "uppity" for her taste and that i thought that my shit didn't stink....
okay. what the fuck?!! just because i work hard and i am well spoken and read and just because i have 2 degress doesn't make me a snob.
so what if i abhor slurping sounds at the dinner table and i hate to hear people mispronounce words and i despise the word "aint" and sue me if i fucking leave the country for recreation instead of military obligation.....
she also hated me cause i was black. yeah, go figure. she even told me that should her precious, ansinie, bisexual son marry me, i would cause him to have to choose them over me. lucky for her ass i never wanted to marry him...yeah, marrying into their family would've involved marrying into a dope smoking, verbally and physically abusive cesspool of inbreeding...(his mother and father are 3rd cousins) and i so didn't want or need that.
so they are jewish? so am i, and that was a major bone of contention with them...a black jew? sammy davis lives! (their crass assed joke).....
do not be afraid of the mil.....if you start to show fear now, you will REGRET it....trust me....hike up those tits, look her dead in the eye with that beautiful gypsy insolence, and let her know that you aren't to be FUCKED with.....i wish i was there where you were, cause three days with me, you'll never cower under her lox and denturecream breath again. i promise you.
enough!! that felt great! how is your day going, darling?
Re: what?!!
You totally cheered me up. I should print that and read it before I have to go to anymore family (dis)functions.
We actually very rarely attend any of her family crap because she always freaks out and is miserable if we don't totally kowtow to what she wants. This, in fact, may be our last Hanukkah over there. We've been doing holidays here since last Passover when MIL screamed at us the whole time she served the seder, while playing the hanging scene from Mississippi Burning in the background. MIL is seriously whacked.
I just generally avoid her. I don't go over there unless it's a family function, I avoid her calls (ever since she ever so pleasantly asked me what I was doing answering her son's phone), and things are happy.
Oh well, at least my family's welcoming and accepting of our plans to run off to Vegas.
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