Insomnia

[devilgrrl]

Well, I was going to go to bed early, especially considering I have to go and visit the gods tomorrow. Then, I got caught up reading sleepyzoe's journal. I also decided that I wanted to drink. Now it's 3am and I'm a fucking idiot. Steven will be here in 3½ hours to switch out cars and I'll be off to do errands like the aforementioned UMass one and picking up and cashing my paycheque. I then need to pick Steven up by 3ish. Let us pray I can drag my ass out of bed by noon.



M: everyone is sleeping but us

chrysalis method: on your buddy list, as well?

chrysalis method: yay witching hour!

M: yes. and i just got in and have a 6 beer buzz

chrysalis method: woohoo

M: i just did karaoke for the first time ever

chrysalis method: how was it?

M: not as bad as i thought. especially after that many beers

M: i did "fever" by peggy lee

chrysalis method: good song to sing to. i sang that in choir a few years back

M: yeah. it was a lot of fun

M: still with steve?

chrysalis method: yep

M: figured

M: and i am still single

chrysalis method: you're always welcome to come hang out

M: lovely

M: i think ill probably be back at the rox. with a better job, though.

chrysalis method: i spent the better part of my life being single, and all of the last relationship i was in wishing i was.. i'm still not up to the Monogamous Relationship yet :-\

M: you guys aren't monogamous?

chrysalis method: nope

chrysalis method: open relationship

M: because of your indescrepancies, or his?

chrysalis method: mine, mostly

chrysalis method: i suggested it, he was ok with it

M: well sometimes that works

M: because you like women, too. is that the issue?

chrysalis method: doesn't matter which i wanted to date, he was ok with it. i just prefer women, generally, over men

M: how understanding of him

chrysalis method: it's worked pretty well, thus far. he knew i was still with my ex when we started dating

M: well good luck to ya

chrysalis method: thanks

M: relationships are hard

chrysalis method: i'll give you that..

M: i guess im going to join the ranks of the rest of our buddy lists

So, what do you make of that? I like M a lot. I don't know her all too well, but I certainly would like to get to know her better. She's a really cool person. And I know she would not have said anything like this to me, had she been sober.

She's totally adorable in a Marilyn Monroe kind of way. Don't get me wrong, I would love to sleep with her, too, don't get me wrong, but I'm so damned shy... I have no clue how to broach that one, plus I got the distinct impression that she was a little uncomfy with me having a boyfriend.

So, why do I feel like a complete jerk? I somehow feel guilty for not being available after that. The whole thing left me completely uncomfortable...

Just in case anyone didn't know, yes, we are not doing the Monogamous Relationship thing. And no, it wasn't on his behest; it was on mine. It works fine for us. There's never been any jealousy issues and yes, we also know this one from practise. It's not for everyone, but it works for us. I guess it comes down to the fact that sex is not love and you can certainly have sex with someone while still loving your primary partner. So, here's answering (hopefully) questions before they start:

1. No, knowing he was having sex with someone else would not upset me.

2. No, this is in no way a sin.

3. He didn't force me into it; I asked, he acquiesced.

4. If we get married someday, we plan on morphing into an open marriage.

5. No, this would not be scarring to children.

6. Yes, I do love him. Really.

7. No, I don't lead people on, telling them I'm single. I let people know that I'm in a committed relationship, but it's open.

8. Yes, you can be committed to someone and still have sex with other people.

~*~

I should go to bed. I feel lonely, all of a sudden. I wish Steven had wanted to stay tonight, but it's a school night and all, so I'll cuddle with my body pillow.

We went to evil Taco Bell tonight and it killed us both. As we were laying around in bed, he was joking about the horrible, rumbling sounds my stomach was making. I wish I could remember exactly what he said, because I laughed my ass off.

Oh, and new Crest Whitening Expressions rocks my socks off. I want to brush my teeth every two minutes because it's so awesome. I just sent away for a free sample (like we didn't buy it today anyhow) and a coupon for the 7 day whitening thing. I can do 7 days to make my coffee-stained teeth whiter.

Also, we scored some awesome Republic of Tea tea for super cheap at Kitchens Etc. today. We paid $9.75 for three of the gift packs. Orange Ginger Mint is super tasty and hardly needs any sugar in it, at all.

Christ, my bum is numb. Bleh.. I need to get another toothbrush. My new one hurts and I have super sensitive gums. I need extra soft bristles and I think these are like medium or something. I also think that I might be developing an allergy to chocolate. Everytime I eat it, lately, I get that stinging-burning-tingling feeling that I get with everything else I'm allergic to. Boo! Realistically, it won't stop me from eating it. Hell, I still eat peanuts and I'm allergic to those, too. The only things I avoid are avocadoes and latex, both of which I'm deathly allergic to. I honestly should carry an epipen, but I'm waaaay too lazy. I'll just.. uhm.. get anaphylactic or something.

Also picked up two boxes of my hair dye for the price of one tonight. I'm a tad nervous because they were on clearance and I'd hate to try and find another colour that matches my natural one so perfectly. Seriously. It's like one shade redder than my natural one and it covers the white streak oh-so-well. My colour, for any interested parties, is #16RG/Sedona Sunset. The site informs me it's ideal for covering grey. Duh.

I picked up some Aveeno Calming Comfort lotion, while I was at Brooks, tonight, in hope of alleviating the horrible stress rash I have from mid-upper arm to wrist, as well as all over my bum, thighs, and back. I'm so damned itchy, I want to scream. I have huge patched of dry skin that cracks and stings and, so far, nothing as made it better. I don't want to go to the doctor, because they'll try to perscribe happy pills and I don't want that. I want my damned stress to go away. Grr. So far, though, the Aveeno is doing a pretty good job. I'm not totally itchless yet, but it's a start and my arms don't feel like scales anymore. Yay.

Christ, I have got to sleep. More tomorrow, if there's time.

You are: THEODORA (c500-548). The ultimate Empress,
who rose from bawdy actress to champion of the
oppressed. Her marriage to Justinian was
arguably the most loving and enduring in
history. She had many enemies at court, but was
a brilliant strategist and incredibly charming.

Which Byzantine Empress Are You?
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