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Mmph
How stupid of me to think that my mother would do something supportive of me. Here I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, after Steven talked to her last night, she might be a little more empathetic, so I called her today. I should have fucking known. I shouldn't have even bothered calling.
She launched right into the "Maybe you should just give up and quit college already. You've dicked around long enough." speech. This is the one that she gets that condescending tone in her voice and tells me that "not everyone's cut out for college" and "maybe (I) should just look for a full time job." Because, of course, we all know that I have tons of marketable skills that will make it so easy for me to get a job in this economy. Brilliant, I have an idea! I'll work full time in retail and have a nervous breakdown. Score! Or I'll find a demeaning job as a secretary and the end results will be the same! Yes!
Then she dropped the big one. Even if I take off a semester and work, I will still have to go back to Massasoit in the fall. She will not pay for classes at UMass. Period. She never intended to let me take just one class this semester, either. She's all maxed out on her credit card because she had to buy a brand new Mac laptop that she basically didn't really need. Thanks, mom. Couldn't buy my one when I needed it for school, but you sure can buy you one for yourself.
My favourite was when she insinutated that I would somehow like Massasoit better if I work a semester and go back in the fall. What a fucking crock. I've hated the school since I started there. I've taken semesters off to work full time and, you know what? I still hated it when I went back. There are days when I can't even force myself out of bed to go because I hate it so much. I would honestly rather kill myself than ever go back there again.
This means nothing to my mother. She thinks I'm being melodramatic.
Oh, right, and she'll not pay for books this semester, either.
I'm too fucking miserable to write anymore.
She launched right into the "Maybe you should just give up and quit college already. You've dicked around long enough." speech. This is the one that she gets that condescending tone in her voice and tells me that "not everyone's cut out for college" and "maybe (I) should just look for a full time job." Because, of course, we all know that I have tons of marketable skills that will make it so easy for me to get a job in this economy. Brilliant, I have an idea! I'll work full time in retail and have a nervous breakdown. Score! Or I'll find a demeaning job as a secretary and the end results will be the same! Yes!
Then she dropped the big one. Even if I take off a semester and work, I will still have to go back to Massasoit in the fall. She will not pay for classes at UMass. Period. She never intended to let me take just one class this semester, either. She's all maxed out on her credit card because she had to buy a brand new Mac laptop that she basically didn't really need. Thanks, mom. Couldn't buy my one when I needed it for school, but you sure can buy you one for yourself.
My favourite was when she insinutated that I would somehow like Massasoit better if I work a semester and go back in the fall. What a fucking crock. I've hated the school since I started there. I've taken semesters off to work full time and, you know what? I still hated it when I went back. There are days when I can't even force myself out of bed to go because I hate it so much. I would honestly rather kill myself than ever go back there again.
This means nothing to my mother. She thinks I'm being melodramatic.
Oh, right, and she'll not pay for books this semester, either.
I'm too fucking miserable to write anymore.