devilgrrl: (Cold Devilgrrl)
I hate when I'm so tired, but I still can't sleep. I went to bed at 11 because I was exhausted. I thought I'd just not take my Ambein and be all clever about it, since it didn't matter if it took me two hours to fall asleep on a Friday.

All I did was roll around till I got up at 3:30 and took an Ambien, which bought me about 5 hours of actual sleep. It's probably rebound insomnia, but this happens any time I'm not taking something to knock me out. It doesn't matter how tired I am; my body will not turn off.

This week has been insane. The kids are wound, which is par for the course, considering. My hand is still not great, so that makes life interesting. I did three crafts with glitter yesterday, though, which was pretty great. I love me some glitter.

I need to do some lesson plans this week-end, speaking of glitter. I'm trying to get the rest of December planned out and possibly leave something for the couple days I'll be out after Christmas. Also, I need to find some Hanukkah crafts. I'm thinking of making a toilet paper roll menorah with felt flames for each classroom.

We stopped by the mall after work, ostentatiously so I could purchase some pants. We had dinner at Dave & Busters, which was decent. I dropped in Lush to ask about face lotion and was set up with a sample of Skin Nanny and Celestial. I tried the latter today and I like it, though I completely overdid it on a couple places. Next week, I'm going to buy Mum's Humango. Bleh, Christmas shopping...

I got waylaid by JC Penney's and ended up with a pair of lower heeled, knee high, motorcycle styled boots since, much as I love my other pair of boots, I just cannot to heavy duty walking in them, like I did Thursday. Of course, I forgot my coupon and that I have a store credit. I might head back there tonight.

I picked up a pair of skinny jeans at Old Navy. I've only been trying to find them for months. They're kind of weird, though. I got regulars, which are usually miles too long for me, but these are fine. I'm not questioning it. I'm breaking them in today. I also got a Thanksgiving shirt that says Gobble Gobble. I win like that.

We're going back tonight because I have to have my Mac looked at. The screen has gone out a couple times and the latch is broken. I've barely had it four months and I treat it like my firstborn. There is no reason it should be having any issues.

It's frigid, Steven and my mother are installing a new sink, and I am banished to the living room because neither have two useful hands nor helpful suggestions.

I need to order Teh Turkey today and start a mental menu so I can grocery shop this week. I can't believe we're so close to Thanksgiving, honestly. It will be a year to the Thursday Gramma died and, in all honestly, I didn't really want to do anything this year, but it's sink or swim, you know? We're having people over, at least, so I won't have time to dwell on it. Frakking holidays.

I wish my hand didn't ache so much. I was too crafty yesterday, obviously.

Stupid 5am

Sep. 5th, 2006 05:07 am
devilgrrl: (Badger)
Dear Insomnia,

I don't really need to do this every single night. 5am is not a time I like to see. You didn't even bother giving it a rest while we were in Vermont. I mean, really, how is it possible for me not to be tired? I haven't gotten any sleep in two weeks. I should be able to sleep, instead of being wide awake.

Seriously, you can die now. Kthnxbye.

Blargh

Dec. 24th, 2005 09:33 am
devilgrrl: (Badger)
Oh my god, 9am can fuck itself. I slept so badly last night and I don't have any idea why. I went to bed around 1:30 and then I just tossed and turned all night. Why do I have such bad insomnia. I swear to god, it doesn't matter how tired I am or when I go to be, I don't fall asleep before 5am. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment this week because I just can't take the lack of sleep anymore. I feel like I'm going to die.

We're going to my grandparents' today and my cousin's, too. Of course, this had to be the day I sleep like complete shit. Apparently, Laura did too. Damn you, Saturday. I finished up my pies and just need to put whipped cream on them and figure out how to get my pie to Karyn's.

I must obtain a 6oz graham cracker crust and lemon juice today. I need to make candied sweet potatoes and apple sauce tonight for our Christmas dinner. We obtained The Piggie yesterday. Does anyone know if I can just shove all two pounds of it into the oven tomorrow? Stupid pamplet only really gives directions for the 8+ pound variety. I would think I could just stick the whole ham in there or I suppose I could do the slice thing.

Steven takes forever in the shower. He seriously showers like a woman.

I definitely think I have my period. I checked my strings and my cervix this morning and it's much lower and softer than it has been in the last few weeks. I kind of figured it would come a week early or a week late, since I vaguely remember my period always coming on week-ends Elliott wasn't here. It's actually not even has heavy as the spotting I was having on the ring. I can handle that.

My eye hurts so much. Ugh. I seem to have a clogged up tear duct for some reason. I hope showering will make it feel better. And why does my evil computer want to restart again? How many updates can it possibly install?

Ugh

Aug. 29th, 2005 07:04 am
devilgrrl: (Default)

Today is going to suck so much. I woke up at 4:03 to potty and I have been awake ever since. Sure, I rolled around in bed for over 2 hours, hoping I would fall back asleep. Finally, I just got up and took a shower, since 45 minutes more of sleep, if I actually fell asleep, wasn't going to do me any good.

Now I get to go to jury duty. After that, I get to take a 3 hour writing assessment test for UMB. How much is that going to suck on no sleep? As it is, unless I can get a guarantee that I am going to be out of court by like 11:30, I'm going to have to postpone it because if I don't take this test, I can't get into school. Today, of course, is the very last test date. I missed all of the earlier ones because a) I hadn't been accepted and b) I was in Conneticut. Hopefully, I can just go in, show then my test registration, and get excused and be done with this shit for the next three years.

Seriously, I wouldn't want myself on my own jury right now. I have too much going on in my life that I have to worry about, I am too tired, and I just don't want to be there. I am not going to be able to concentrate on a boring case. I will either start making lists of things I need to do or I'll fall asleep because I got no sleep at all last night because I was worrying how I was going to do the test and jury duty in the same day.

I am in such a bad fucking mood.

devilgrrl: (I just don't know... Steven calls it the)
I tried to go to bed an hour ago. I was wicked tired when I got home from our looong walk at Castle Island and then hanging out at Donna's for a bit. But then we came back here and ended up watching the end of The Two Towers and I called [livejournal.com profile] lauraxmarie , and suddenly, I was really awake. So, I sat in the bedroom and knitted my test piece for a while, decided that I really couldn't sleep, so I got up.

Then my stomach attacked. My hormones are 37 kinds of fucked up right now and I also ate a ton of cherries before bed. That is so not a good combo.

Skip if you don't want to read about my kitty )

Bleh, so last week-end we biked a total of 10 miles and we're going to bike again this week-end after Elliott's gone home. Right now, I still have to stop too much and I also can't bike in the middle of the day because I don't sweat very effectively. There's nothing more fun than being out in the hot sun, overheating, and only the slightest bit damp. I get crazy hives, too, if I go from hot to cold or vice versa.

I really wish I could sleep. It's almost 4am.
devilgrrl: (Default)
Welcome back, insomnia. You hadn't come around in so long, I had forgotten how much fun you were. Looks like Godzilla has it too. He's staring at me. Then again, who knows if fish really sleep or not.

I'm checking out the Republic of Tea website and it has me totally wanting to spend a frivolous amount of money on tea. I need to save since, unless I can find an office job, I won't be working until summer. I love tea, though. Ever since I had to give up coffee, I've been collecting different types. We have a grand English tea that's almost as good as a cup off coffee in the morning. I have a white tea, a red tea, and a million herbal teas. Steven even has this crazy lemon "tea" called Canario or something like that. We also inherited a tea infuser/french coffee press from Sam when she moved, which I am dying to try out. Alas, I have no loose tea.

Maybe I'll trot over to Whole Foods tomorrow and eye their tea selection.

In other news, I finally gave Laura her Christmas present today when she dropped in for a while. We horrified Steven playing with our bellies and I proved that I can, indeed, fit my bra cup over someone's head. Too much fun.

After Laura left, we went over to the gym, I worked my upper arms and swam for a bit. I've also lost 4.5 pounds since the last time I got weighed. Yay! May it keep coming off like it has been.

I'm going out for ice cream with my mum tomorrow as a reward for my good grades. And damned if I don't already know where I'm going. I just need to call and find out if I'm getting picked up here or what.

I think I'm going to try and go back to sleep now. Steven looked awfully peaceful when I got up and he's nice and warm to boot. Sitting naked in one's living room is chilly business. Well, my lap is warm, but that's from the sterilizing computer.

Oh, and if anyone's on during the day, please message me. I'm wicked bored being stuck at home all the time. Leave a comment if you want my AIM or YM screen name.
devilgrrl: (Default)
Well, maybe two... It's still been a crappy day, though.

My insomnia was back with a vengeance last night. I had the worst time falling asleep. Might have been the switch from falling asleep with the TV on to listening to quiet jazz... Might have been because I just suck. Probably was related to the complete lack of money that we have. We have a combined total of less than $40. I'm hoping we have enough to get through until next week...

I started out the morning with a cool shower because there was no damned hot water and dropping Steven's mousse on my foot when I was fresh out of the shower. We got behind the slowest idiot on the way in. I felt sick all morning. Steven and I bickered about what time is reasonable to get some sleep.I also forgot my stupid doctor's note and my paper for english. Ugh...

We had lunch at school and I've been here since 2:30 trying to relax a little. I got my happy ring today, though, so that makes things a little better.

I had more to write when I started this, but now I just want to lay down until I need to go to the bank.

Insomnia

Jan. 22nd, 2004 02:53 am
devilgrrl: (Default)
Well, I was going to go to bed early, especially considering I have to go and visit the gods tomorrow. Then, I got caught up reading sleepyzoe's journal. I also decided that I wanted to drink. Now it's 3am and I'm a fucking idiot. Steven will be here in 3½ hours to switch out cars and I'll be off to do errands like the aforementioned UMass one and picking up and cashing my paycheque. I then need to pick Steven up by 3ish. Let us pray I can drag my ass out of bed by noon.

Of course, if I had not stayed up late, I would not have gotten the following IM: )

~*~


I should go to bed. I feel lonely, all of a sudden. I wish Steven had wanted to stay tonight, but it's a school night and all, so I'll cuddle with my body pillow.

We went to evil Taco Bell tonight and it killed us both. As we were laying around in bed, he was joking about the horrible, rumbling sounds my stomach was making. I wish I could remember exactly what he said, because I laughed my ass off.

Oh, and new Crest Whitening Expressions rocks my socks off. I want to brush my teeth every two minutes because it's so awesome. I just sent away for a free sample (like we didn't buy it today anyhow) and a coupon for the 7 day whitening thing. I can do 7 days to make my coffee-stained teeth whiter.

Also, we scored some awesome Republic of Tea tea for super cheap at Kitchens Etc. today. We paid $9.75 for three of the gift packs. Orange Ginger Mint is super tasty and hardly needs any sugar in it, at all.

Christ, my bum is numb. Bleh.. I need to get another toothbrush. My new one hurts and I have super sensitive gums. I need extra soft bristles and I think these are like medium or something. I also think that I might be developing an allergy to chocolate. Everytime I eat it, lately, I get that stinging-burning-tingling feeling that I get with everything else I'm allergic to. Boo! Realistically, it won't stop me from eating it. Hell, I still eat peanuts and I'm allergic to those, too. The only things I avoid are avocadoes and latex, both of which I'm deathly allergic to. I honestly should carry an epipen, but I'm waaaay too lazy. I'll just.. uhm.. get anaphylactic or something.

Also picked up two boxes of my hair dye for the price of one tonight. I'm a tad nervous because they were on clearance and I'd hate to try and find another colour that matches my natural one so perfectly. Seriously. It's like one shade redder than my natural one and it covers the white streak oh-so-well. My colour, for any interested parties, is #16RG/Sedona Sunset. The site informs me it's ideal for covering grey. Duh.

I picked up some Aveeno Calming Comfort lotion, while I was at Brooks, tonight, in hope of alleviating the horrible stress rash I have from mid-upper arm to wrist, as well as all over my bum, thighs, and back. I'm so damned itchy, I want to scream. I have huge patched of dry skin that cracks and stings and, so far, nothing as made it better. I don't want to go to the doctor, because they'll try to perscribe happy pills and I don't want that. I want my damned stress to go away. Grr. So far, though, the Aveeno is doing a pretty good job. I'm not totally itchless yet, but it's a start and my arms don't feel like scales anymore. Yay.

Christ, I have got to sleep. More tomorrow, if there's time.

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devilgrrl: (Default)
It's goddamned cold outside. It supposed to get to something like -10, before the wind chill tonight, and I think -30 to -40 with the wind chill. I should be taking a nap right now, but I can't sleep at all. I was trying to take a nap before bowling, but my mother had to call, for no good reason, about 1/2 an hour into the nap and spoil things. My mother seems to forget about this neat invention called "email". It allows you to contact people without rudely dragging them out of their warm beds. Boo.

So, here I am eating oyster crackers and watching The Two Towers, killing time while Steven finishes up bowling. On a side note, Viggo Mortensen (for anyone one who lives under a rock, that would be Aragorn)looks far more attractive with longer, dark brown hair and a beard than he does without. I'd actually like to go and see Return of the King again, hopefully without having to pee wicked bad for the last hour and a half of it. Kind of spoiled the experience.

I'm actually also probably going to expend the extra cash when the extended trilogy comes out. I'd like to see all the extra jazz, but why pay for each one separately? I mean, I know there are a lot of people who will, but I haven't that kind of cash.

I should go and start up my car in the not to distant future. Bowling's usually over somewhere around 8:45 or 9. I so don't feel like cooking tonight, either.. I think I shall strongly suggest chinese. Yay for chinese on ass-biting cold nights.

Pre-Nup

Aug. 18th, 2003 11:44 pm
devilgrrl: (Default)
Still not feeling well after, what, four days? I've been tired all day and I have a little bit of a headache now and still feel a little sick. I'm guessing that this is basically all from stress, but still... I hate feeling nauseous.

Actually, this might be because I'm still not sleeping. My body processes drugs way too effectively and the ambien I was perscribed to "break" the insomnia cycle doesn't really do much more than allow me to sleep for about three hours solidly.

~*~


It's been a bit of a long day. Dawn came down for the day and we ended up wandering around the Burlington Mall for 3+ hours before having lunch at Uno's. Seeing Dawn was good, but more than an hour in a mall makes me exhausted.

We were talking a little bit about marriage and how it's not everything it's shown to be on the way back from the mall and, evidently, I'm really jaded about it. I guess most people don't view it as a business contract..?

I can't imagine entering into a marriage without a prenup. It seems to me like going into business with a partner without incorporating. It's stupid not to protect yourself.

I mean, when you really get down to it, marriage is nothing more than a contract for a business partnership. When you get married, you pool separate assets to become a single entity. From there, you create revenue (jobs), pay obligators (bills), work to run an efficient home, and potentially expand (have kids) and make decisions on products (parent). I see a prenup as being a way to ensure the protection of your assets in case the business (marriage) fails. That way, no one loses everything.

Obviously, I realise that partnership and marriage have a more human element than that, but you could have companionship with a pet as much as with a person. No sex, obviously, but nothing is perfect.

(Ha.. Like I would do well without sex.)

Romantisised ideas of marriage scare me. It's all well and good that you'll love, honour, and cherish each other is sickness and health, richer or poorer, but love doesn't pay bills and solve arguments. Promises aren't going to help when you live on a hundred bucks a week with bills to pay. No one ever tells you that when you're waltzing around in a $1,000 confection of a dress.

Watching my parents' marriage die slowly and painfully over the course of 10 years really jaded me. It's hard to listen to your father badmouth your mother while she's trying to squeeze by and he can't even cough up $100 a month to help out. It's hard to be stuck in the middle, to not be taken for a visitation week because you're wanted, but because he feels obligated to you (and proceeds to criticise and belittle your plans the whole time because "you're a screw-up").

Especially when you get the college is so important speech, but he won't cough up a dime to help out and his only encouragement is that I should stop fucking around and just drop out.

I digress... I never want to divorce, but if I have to, I want it to be mostly cut and dry. Not like my mother's... Bloodless.

More later, getting hazy.
devilgrrl: (Default)
Ah, late nights. I just saw the videos for The Rock Show and HashPipe. I am currently nursing a huge girlie boner for both songs. Neither video was what I anticipated, but they were both interesting, none the less.

I think what makes me like both songs so much is that they remind me of being a kid, instead of tottering on the brink of adulthood like I am now. Blink 182 reminds me of the summer after I graduated. That song, What's My Age Again, was in heavy rotation and I remember cruising around, singing that at the top of my lungs. It reminds me of being carefree and, I don't know, think that being 17 was the highlight of life; of somehow all of those magical moments would be frozen in time and I would be eternally 17.

Weezer reminds me more of being, god, 15, maybe? I remember watching the video to Buddy Holly on MTV a good deal and thinking that the singer was the bee's knees. I mean, he's still pretty adorable in that sad, sensitive way that makes everyone (and I do mean everyone) wonder why their boyfriend isn't like that. Like Matt said, it's the kind of music that sad, teenager girls sit in their bedrooms and listen to.

I guess knowing so many of my friends are graduating soon is making me sappy. It kind of hurts that I've lost touch with so many people for whom I really cared. Nothing ever stays the same, as much as I really wish I could freeze frame it.

I'm really groggy right now and vaguely upset. Tonight is Faint night, which makes me very happy. I haven't done anything lately that isn't totally adult. I want to feel young and do things instead of feeling like I'm fucking 40. I hate everything. Christ, I'm whiny. If I keep this up, someone might mistake me for Weenie-Boy.

On a light note, it's time I come out of the closet...

*sniff* I'm secretly starting to like emo. Tonight, I willingly downloaded a New Found Glory song [but it was stuck in my head, really!], a Midtown song [I had to!], and a Small Brown Bike song [but I always liked them!]. It must be all the pollen in the air. There is no other real explanation [other than no one is forcing it down my throat now.]

Mm, that feels better. Is there a support group that I can join for this?
devilgrrl: (Default)
Surprise, surprise, I'm awake late again. I actually feel really sick for some as yet undefined reason. I was also sort of waiting for Matt to call, but he hasn't. I presume he's mad at me... I left his house in a little bit of a rush. He wanted me to stay over there and I wanted to go home because I felt really crappy.

Tomorrow is payday. Whee! There are so many things I need to do. I'm getting a couple of African Violets for my and Matt's respective moms. I also need gas and to get my stupid nails filled. I also want to put some money away for Mom's birthday present. Oh yes, and I need to get Dawn's 8" ball.

Did I mention I felt sick?

I'm still not sure about the hair colour, but my hair is too dry to re-dye right now. Ugh, and I need to find out what the return policy at Circuit City is because my webcam sucks and has been consistently fucking up my computer since I installed it. I'm just a giant ball of whine tonight, aren't I?

Actually, I had a pretty decent day today. I'm almost done with Extasy & Me, which has been an awesome read so far. I'm so worshipful of Hedy Lamarr.

They just has something on Montel called the "Gilded Lily". It's a spa, I believe, but, you know, all I could think of was that it was a slang term for the vulva. I'm such a pervert. Bad Samantha.

Well, Andy Griffith just came on and that's my cue to get some sleep.

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