I am going to be 24 this summer and so are you girls. That means all three of us are a good 10 years out of puberty. You remember puberty, right? That was when you ladies blossomed from pretty much innocent bystanders into C cup sized centres of attention. We had good times then. You certainly knew how to fill out a shirt with the best of them
Well, I guess you liked the attention, as well as some of the hormones in OrthoTriCyclen and decided that C just wasn't good enough for you. That was average, you know, just like the grade in school. I didn't mind when you girls expanded your horizons into D cups, really. It wasn't that big of a stretch, you looked great, and we could still go places together and fit in. Even DD wasn't too huge of a change. We were still ok in most places, though there were a few that weren't as accomodating as we needed.
But it seems all of the new attention, whether from bras or boys, went to your head. You girls literally got too big for your britches. I told you to slow down, things were moving ahead too fast, but you didn't listen, did you? You didn't slow down and by the time you two were done, you were Fs. It's caused a lot of trouble, you know. Because of what you two have made of yourselves, a lot of doors have shut to us. Vicky's is not a place we are welcome anymore. Oh, you two thought Vicky was going to welcome you back around Christmas time, but it was a ploy. Things aren't going to change with there anytime soon. In fact, we aren't really welcome at a lot of the places, save for the internet and, well, Lady Grace still loves you two, but it's not the same. Lady Grace is nice, but she just doesn't understand girls our age.
After some rocky times together, I finally accepted you two again. You seemed stable. You hadn't done anything crazy in a year and a half. I thought we could all be friends again. I thought I could trust you two. I welcomed you back, I bought you pretty things. Steven takes good care of you (I dare say he likes you better than I do right now.) Things were good and then you went and betrayed me again. You two are growing again.
At first, I thought maybe it was a little extra fluid. I know things can shift throughout the month and I understand. You girls let me believe it. You never bothered to admit the truth to me: you two decided to get bigger again.
Let's get one thing straight, girl. I am not a porn star. By proxy, neither are you two. Unless I change my mind, you girls aren't going to be porn stars unless the rest of me goes along. And, I hate to break it to you, homemade porn isn't really an excuse for being ginormous.
I know you don't think it's a big deal, that you're "in proportion" with the rest of me, but my ass is not going to cooperate with you forever. In fact, my ass is pretty committed to getting smaller. You two are going to be the odd men... er, girls... out.
I don't want this to sound like a threat, because I am very attached to you, but I want you to understand that if you keep doing this, I will have no choice but to cut you off. You've got to understand, it's not just me you're bothering. You give my back trouble, you irritate the nerves in my shoulders with your constant weighty issues. You're weighing me down, not to mention putting a huge drain on my wallet. I just can't afford you two when every time you need something, it's at least $60 or more. You don't fit in anywhere, you cause havoc whenever we go shopping, you're just generally too unruly.
I'm sorry it had to come to this. It's hard for me to tell you girls this because we've had some great times. I remember when we were so cute together not that long ago and I've gotten great pleasure out of your company. For now, I'm going to keep supplying you girls because, really, I've got no other choice. It's not like I can just let you two bounce around whereever you want. I just want you to consider this a warning to stop your ways. We could live happily like we are now, but you have to cooperate with the rest of me and stop your constant expansion.
Please, take a page from my ass. Start to shape up or I will have to ship you out.
As you can probably guess, I decided to try on a couple of my bras tonight, now that I've lost a bit of weight, to see how they look. Well, I figured out where the weight from my ass went. I didn't actually lose it; it migrated to my tits. I have outgrown at least two of my bras, including the push-up bra that I dearly loved. I'm not talking about massive, I look like I have a baby's bum, business side up, stuffed in my shirt. I'm talking quadra boob, where you can see exactly where my bra is and the line it creates because a good portion of Lefty has squeezed out.
I thought they were growing again, but I chalked it up to all the painkillers I was taking. Well, I'm off of them now and my boobs are still big. At least I have a few formerly roomy Fs that I now totally fill out, which is good, in a way, since I am not desperate to buy new bras like I was the last time they grew, but I am going to have to replace a couple of them, including the beautiful pistachio green one I just bought this winter. I swear to god, I am the only person who can lose weight and have their tits grow. Well, at least I need new, smaller pants. I am trying to take comfort in that.
You know, I'm starting to think I'm going to have to call them something other than tits, as well. Tits kind of insinuates smaller to me. Maybe I should start calling them gazongas. Heh, maybe I should have a name my boobies contest here.
What else... The baseball game was rained out tonight, so Steven and I went to the mall instead. I got my mum her birthday present (incense, 2 lily of the valley candles from Yankee Candle, a tiny thing of gardenia hand lotion from Bath & Body Works, and the new Pina Colada lotion from Bath & Body Works) and we picked up some antibacterial stuff from there as well, since it was 5 for $10. We won't need to buy soap for ages! We talked to a couple people we hadn't seen for a while, I showed off my surgery scars, and we breezed through JC Penney's. I also got some ideas for what I want to get Steven for Father's Day, as well as got permission to take Elliott out for an afternoon so he can pick out a little something for Steven. Now, I just need to convince my mom to go with us.
My knee is killing me not only from all the walking, but from the weather, as well. I'm starting to get sleepy, but I know I won't be able to find a comfortable position if it keeps aching like this. I'm so glad I hoard painkillers. I'm going to take one and check out a few options for replacement bras while it kicks in.
And here's a survey I yoinked from lisbonlovesjacq ( Survey )