Oh, Cat

Apr. 19th, 2009 12:20 am
devilgrrl: (Default)
[personal profile] devilgrrl
I'm sitting here on the couch, chilling out, and suddenly, I hear nomming. So I look up and there's the cat, snarfing down something as quick as possible, because I so might steal it. I'm like that.

Now, I cleaned, so there is pretty much nothing on the floor. I'm all CAT, what the fuck are you eating? She scoots off, but before she does, I saw what was in her mouth.

She managed to find the one piece of kettle corn I had dropped. The one edible thing on the floor and she found it. It was, apparently, delicious.

Now that I've established that, I am realizing that Goddammit is both quiet and not where I can see her. This is generally Not Good. Not five seconds later, she comes parading out with one of my ponies in her mouth, which she somehow managed to get off of the doorknob.

What this boils down to is I am stand here, in my underwear, with one cat trying to get her head in my bag of popcorn and the other one about to eat a hair tie. I am trying to decide which one I should do something about. I decided that catching and removing a pony from the cat's bum later on was worse than the other one with the popcorn, so I go to grab her.

She runs, the other one grabs the popcorn and goes, and I'm still standing here, in my underwear, like an idiot.

And of course, soon as I sit down, there goes Goddammit parading by with a dirty band-aid in her mouth. Lather, rinse, repeat. I love that my cats pick trash, really.

Of course, there is a full bowl of fresh water and food that I put out less than an hour ago. But no, band-aids and ponies are so much better. Perhaps Madame would like some potty water to finish dinner off?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] call-me-ps.livejournal.com
This made me LOL so hard I had to share it with my Mom because she wanted to know what was so funny.

She said, "She's a pretty good writer...she should send that to Reader's Digest". There you go. :-)

I freaking love your cat stories.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
I'm glad this entertained your mum and you so much.

I don't know if Reader's Digest would appreciate my swearing :) But maybe I will thinking about posting to one of the webzines.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedshadow.livejournal.com
LOL, that's funny.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
I definitely laughed about it this morning, but at the time, I was so mad at the two of them.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 03:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellalunatic.livejournal.com
you're SURE they're not feral raccoons?

Sounds like one of mine - she's obsessed with licking tape. It's unhealthy!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
Hmm, Goddammit is kind of stripey...

You'd seriously think that I beat and starved them the way they acted.

I wonder what it is about the tape.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justsurvive.livejournal.com
oh those silly kittys.
i never understand dogs eating used tissue either. dont they understand trash=gross??

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
It's like kids with boogers. They're salty.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyluna.livejournal.com
Oh yes, Ponies are The. Best. Thing. Ever. I have finally given up. They never actually try to eat them, they just like to bat them around at each other. Kitten Poof also enjoys straws. Buddy likes the sticky paper we use to get their hair off of us. Make it into a ball (sticky side facing in, obviously), and it's just so much fun.

Why do I have a hundred cat toys laying about when all they play with is random junk?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
Seriously, I don't even bother with cat toys. They never play with them anyway and I always end up breaking my neck on them on the stairs.

The kittehs love the lint rollers. Better than brushes.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyluna.livejournal.com
I bought the kitties their favorite thing every two weeks ago. A bird feeder. Hehe. It's driving them crazy because they can't get to the birdies.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
Seriously, Goddammit was trying to convince me that she could have caught the kids playing baseball in the street the other day. It was hysterical.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-19 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lassie-faire.livejournal.com
I love that you named your cat Goddammit. Whenever you post about her, I know i'm in for a treat (like mmm a tasty band-aid!). :D

This did not disappoint. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-20 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
Well, of course, you know we never actually intended to name her that :) The problem was that so many things I said to her started with "Goddammit, will you…?" that she started answering to it. Her real name is Lucky.

She seriously needs her own blog for all the insane things she does.

should've taken a picture!

Date: 2009-04-20 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ccjohn.livejournal.com
I like 'em both already.

Re: should've taken a picture!

Date: 2009-04-20 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
Next time, I will, provide you would like to be the one to extract the hair tie from the cat's butt later on :)

It would have been priceless.

Re: should've taken a picture!

Date: 2009-04-20 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ccjohn.livejournal.com
Yes I was going to salute you on the right call. Chase the cat that presents future hair band cat ass removal. Our yellow Lab eats all forms of paper and it is real fun having to help him get that out. "Of course you hate it, you stupid goddamned dog, why don't you just stop EATING it?" The vet says they are all born with this fetish. Makes me wonder about the people into rubber goods and leather. I mean I am all for that rubber goods and leather but I don't have closets full of it or anything.

Re: should've taken a picture!

Date: 2009-04-20 01:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilgrrl.livejournal.com
I always wonder what it must taste like to them. I mean, why else, you know?

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